


She'll Be Fine.

by TheUselessPaperClip



Series: She'll Be Fine. [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Illnesses, Infatuation, Kissing, Mild Language, Older Man/Younger Woman, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28046532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUselessPaperClip/pseuds/TheUselessPaperClip
Summary: Please check the notes for a summary.
Relationships: John Winchester/You
Series: She'll Be Fine. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054457
Kudos: 13





	1. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’ll Be Fine. is a AU(Alternate Universe) fanfiction between John Winchester playing a 45 year old professor, and the Reader playing a 22 year old student. I’ve been working on it all night! He’s the anatomy professor, and she’s a nursing student. Reader’s last name is Bishop(I find that y/n can be a little off putting to read, so I put a last name.) The plot so far is that the Reader has an un-diagnosed issue with their immune system(Not fatal/terminal. I couldn’t find anything that matched what I was looking for. I have an issue like this but it’s much less severe than what’s in the story.), so she gets things like colds very often, and struggles to protect herself against getting sick. John has a soft spot for people who are ill(which will be revealed later on), so this causes him to go beyond what a professor would normally be expected to do for his student. And, you guessed it, they fall in love. John still has Sam and Dean as his sons. Sam is married to Jess, and Dean is married to Lisa and has Ben as his kid.

My daydreaming was interrupted by the sudden silence brought about the classroom.

I took my elbows off of my desk, tucking my hands into my lap, squeezing my pencil tightly. I straightened my back, looking toward the door. Our professor had shown up, Mr.Winchester, at exactly seven fifty five. It was sometimes frightening how punctual he was. Just as he sat down, the class began speaking to each other again, and I took a deep breath. It was always difficult to breathe when the classroom felt quiet, it made me feel like I was screaming whenever I were to make any noise in the near silent room.

He took a seat at the desk in the front of the room, his eyes looking over at the students, making sure everyone was here. As his gaze fell on me, I could've sworn I saw him begin to smile, but he stopped himself. I found myself staring right back at him, admiring that salt and pepper hair and his light beard scruff. As soon as I realized, my face lit up red like a Christmas tree. I looked down toward my notebook, I made a sad attempt to distract myself, opening the book to a blank page to take my notes for the day. He didn't see me staring, did he? My worry shifted, as I then got a familiar ache in my lungs, making me want to cough. I did my best to hold it in, silencing a few small coughs into my fist, turning my head to the side. Was I getting sick again? That same fear flooded my mind, taking my focus off of what was going on around me.

The bit of fear lingered in my mind, interrupted when he started speaking. 

"Alright! Morning. I know you kids are tired." His voice was deep, a little gruff, as he spoke to the class. 

He went over the assignments for the day before assigning them, making sure we knew what we were doing. The assignments ended up being the usual quiz and a paper for the Lymphatic system. Class flew by, a few people getting up when called to finish showing their presentations from the day before. Though, I couldn't help but muffle a cough into my fist again and again. I didn't pay attention to how many times I did it, but I certainly remember being embarrassed each time for making noise when someone was showing their work. Around the third or fourth time, I caught John staring at me once again, but this time, he had a worried look on his face. I didn’t want to look for two long. He rarely made eye contact with me once or twice a week, so twice in one day was unusual.

I ignored them as usual. I already finished my presentation, so I didn't see a point in watching others present theirs. By the time the last girl finished presenting, class was over. While I was putting my things away, everyone was already filing out of the door. Once I stood, I heard Professor Winchester clear his throat rather loudly. I glanced over, to which he gestured with his hand for me to come to his desk. Was I in trouble? My face grew pale as I made my way over, hugging my binder to my chest, my bag over my shoulder.

"Sir?" I broke my silence, looking down at him in his chair.

It wasn't long before he stood up from his seat, a hand on the desk to push himself up. He looked down at me, the difference in our height making me feel so small. His voice rumbling out.

"You feeling alright today? Couldn't help but notice you coughing up a lung." He chuckled a bit, giving me a slight smile.

I stared at him, a bit shocked, gazing right into those dark hazel eyes. Was I really coughing that loud? No one else was looking at me, or at least no one I saw.

"I- Yeah... I mean, yes, sir." I stumbled over my words, my embarrassment getting the better of me. My worry of being sick again mixed with my worry that I was in trouble. However, what he said next certainly mushed any feelings of doubt I had.

"Look, whether you went to the doctor or not, you can stay home if you need to." A gentle smile spread across his face as he stared down at me. I simply stared back in disbelief. He was giving me permission to skip? He already did enough by making the work digital so I was able to do it at home. John then patted my shoulder, carefully turning me towards the door.

"Now, you get yourself to class." He flashed that smile at me again, ushering me out the door. 

I grinned, heading to the door, only looking back when I reached the hallway. It was a bit surprising to see he was still staring at me, but I didn't pay too much attention to it. I made my way to my other classes, his smile stuck in my head. Sure, I thought about him a few times. Considering the conversations I heard from other girls in the classroom, they certainly had a similar idea. 

When classes were over and done with, I headed out toward the bus stop at the front of the campus. I still had to go to work, and I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. That burning in my chest wouldn’t go away. When I started coughing again, the girl sitting on the bench at the bus stop scooted away from me. By now I was already used to it, people constantly thinking I’m gonna get them sick. 

***

The bus ride over was quiet, and uneventful as always. I got off and went straight inside, going into the back room to put my stuff into the lockers they provided for our personal belongings. 

The bar was quiet at the moment, only a few customers. It was Tuesday night, but even then, I knew that the silence wouldn’t last long. It was usually packed by the time it hit five or six. We were most common among the college students, as we were the closest bar to the University.

When I came out of the back room, I headed out to the bar, greeting Charlie.

Charlie is one of my friends, one of the first friends I made when I moved here. She was a great help when I was getting adjusted, and I honestly don’t know where I would be without her. As soon as she saw me, her face lit up. I don’t understand how she is always so perky and happy all the time. 

“Hey!” She smiled warmly, wrapping her arms around me, letting go of me quickly. “You feeling alright? You look a little pale.” Charlie always knew when I was getting sick, and I’d always deny it. 

“I’m fine Charlie… Just a little tired.” I reassured her.

“Alright, but if you get sick again, I told you so.” 

After flashing me another smile, Charlie turned and went to the other end of the bar, serving the waiting customers. I did the same, getting the drinks and food for the few people at the bar. 

***

My shift ended at about eight o’clock and night, and I couldn’t be any more eager to get home. I marched up the stairs, lugging my backpack over my shoulder. My ankles ached with each step, as they always did after a busy night at work. It only took me about half the stairwell before I started huffing. I pressed my hand to my chest, taking a few deep breaths. 

Why am I so out of breath? 

I brushed it off, figuring I was just exhausted from work. Reaching my door, I dug my keys out of my pocket, trying to find the one for my door. 

When I started struggling to find it, I noticed my vision grew blurry. A light pain surged through my head, I felt like I was going to fall over. I took in a sharp breath, that familiar pain in my chest hitting me again. 

Clutching my shirt in my hand, I felt my knees give out under me, and everything went black.

***

*JOHN’S POV - THREE DAYS LATER*  
*It’s about noon/12pm on Friday.*

***

I flinched in my seat, waking up to the sudden knocking noise. My eyes opened, only to see Jimmy, Professor Novak, at the door to the classroom. 

“Did you fall asleep grading papers again?” He questioned, tilting his head, a bit of concern in his voice.

I lifted my hands from the desk, rubbing my face for a moment to wake myself up. 

“You telling me you don’t?” I smirked at him. 

Jimmy paused for a moment, not saying much, just staring back at me with that usual oblivious look on his face. 

“Ah- No. I don’t fall asleep.” 

He always took a moment to process the jokes. 

I glanced back at my monitor, opening up my email for what I could think was the seventh time today. When I saw nothing new, I hung my head and pulled off my glasses, sighing for a moment. 

Jimmy furrowed his brow, glancing at the screen for a moment, then back at me. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Looking back to him, I closed out of the email. 

“Nothing- Nothing… Just a student of mine, hasn’t shown up since Tuesday. 

Jimmy tilted his head back a bit, thinking for a moment. He nodded, looking back at me. 

“Miss Bishop?” 

I gave him a nod. He knew of Bishop missing class often. Jimmy was her Chemistry Professor, and I made sure he was going digital as well. Not just for Bishop, but for the other students as it made both grading and receiving easier.

“She was coughing up a storm last time I saw her, looked pretty pale.” I rested my elbow on the desk, my hand on my forehead just above my brow. “She almost always responds within the hour, and I haven’t heard a peep for days.” 

Jimmy adjusted his coat for a moment, then shrugging. 

“You could always call her. Students have their phone numbers listed for class alerts.” 

I raised my head, looking at Jimmy with a grin.

“They need to give you a damn raise.” I stood, patting his shoulder. “I’ll get it from the front office. Thank you Jimmy.” 

Jimmy smiled at me, appreciating the approval. He nodded once more, told me to be safe, and made his way out. 

*** 

I eventually got her phone number from the front office, but I had no luck. It went to voicemail each time. I couldn’t shake the feeling in my gut that something was wrong. 

Sitting around feeling helpless wasn’t my style. I took another look at her information, grabbing her mailing address. Of course I knew it was odd, going to a student’s house, but I’m not about to sit here and do nothing. After I got her address, I shut off my computer, packed up my papers, grabbed my coat, and rushed out the door. A few students in the hall gave me an odd look, wondering why I was walking so quickly. I flashed a grin and gave them a small wave, a small effort to draw attention away from it.

As soon as I reached the elevator, I made my way to the ground floor, and out to my truck, climbing in. The drive wasn’t too far from the University. I pulled into the parking lot of an old apartment building. The area was nice, rent was cheap, but the apartments were pretty small and definitely needed some updates. As far as I knew, it was mostly older people who lived here. 

I marched up the stairs, up to the fifth floor, looking back down at my phone with the address. 

“Apartment 504…” 

I muttered the words to myself, tucking my phone back in my pocket and heading down the hallway. When I found the door, I was quick to knock, waiting for anything. A noise, a voice, but nothing came. 

“Bishop?” I called out, knocking on the door again. “It’s John.” 

Worry and fear started to feed the aching feeling in my chest. I normally wouldn’t care if a student missed a few days, it happens all the time. Although, Bishop was usually great about responding fast, and this wasn’t like her. I knew she was sick often, but even when she was sick she made it a point to get her work in on time. Just before I knocked on the door again, my fist clenched tight, I heard a door open just one over from hers. I whipped my head around, looking toward the sound.

“Are you looking for that girl there? The short one?” It was a little old woman. She looked like the sweetest little grandma anyone could ask for. 

I nodded to her, my voice unexpectedly cracking as I answered. 

“I- Yeah. Is she here?” 

She shook her head, glancing back in her apartment for a moment, then back to me. 

“I found the poor dear in the hallway.” The woman pointed to the floor, “She was on the floor, had the nastiest fever I’d seen in a while.” She shook her head, a sorrowful look on her face. 

“I called to get her an ambulance. They said they were gonna take her to that hospital down the road, Strong Memorial, I think it was called?” 

I let out a sigh of relief. I definitely didn’t like the sound of her in a hospital, but it was better than her being missing, or worse. 

“Thank you ma’am. You have a nice night.” I gave her a warm smile, nodding to her as I turned on my heel, making my way out of the apartment building. 

*** 

*BACK TO YOUR POV*  
*It’s about 2pm.*

***

I woke to the sound of a knock on the door. It didn’t startle me too much as the nurses were coming in and out of the room every couple of hours to check on me. Although, this time, it wasn’t a nurse. It was… John? At first I didn’t notice it was him, up until I saw his signature smile, that salt and pepper hair, and those deep, almost bottomless hazel eyes. 

He was holding a plastic grocery bag, a surprisingly relieved look on his face. It contrasted with mine, which was a look of pure shock.

“Mr.Winchester…?” I slowly sat up in bed, keeping my eyes on him. “What- What are you doing here?” My face grew a light shed of red, I looked terrible. 

He smiled at me, opening his mouth to speak, offering the bag to me. I took it reluctantly.

“You haven’t been replying at all. Not like you- figured something was up.” Despite the smile on his face, I could hear a slight strain in his voice. 

“Figured I’d stop and grab you a drink, something to eat.” He pointed to the bag, prompting me to look into it. In the bag, was one of those prepackaged sandwiches, and a water bottle. 

“I- I don’t know what to say.” I wanted to jump out of this bed and hug him, maybe even cry. Actually, I might cry. I felt a burning in my eyes, but I closed them for a moment, I wasn’t about to cry in front of my professor over a sandwich. 

He gave me that smart ass little grin. My heart fluttered. I stared at him in awe, almost like he’d just handed me a puppy. It was something as simple as a snack and a drink, but it’d been so long since I’d had someone go this far. 

“A thank you would be nice” 

An anxious smile spread over my face. 

“Thank you, John.” I dug the sandwich out of the bag, setting it on the table along with the water bottle. 

He pulled up a chair, turning it around backwards as he took a seat, resting his arms on the back of the chair. 

“So.. What are you in for? I saw you coughing on Tuesday, then your neighbor tells me you’re in the hospital?” 

My smile left my face, my head poking up. He went to my apartment? 

“Oh…! That’s Miss Hanes. She lives by herself, I come over for tea with her sometimes.” I trailed off, my lips curling into a light smile. “She lives alone, her daughter brings the grandkids by sometimes. Whenever I’m sick she makes soup.” 

I got out of my head, those memories of the little old woman in my kitchen putting together a nice meal, tucking me into my bed as if I was her own kid. When I looked back to John, something felt… Off. He was staring at the IV in my hand, his brows tense. It appeared as if his eyes were locked on it, like he wasn’t hearing a word. 

“John?” I called out, leaning forward a bit. 

He blinked, lifting his head to meet my eyes. John was quick to smile at her again, almost like he flipped a switch. 

“Yeah? Everything alright?” 

I couldn’t bring myself to ask what was wrong. I just leaned back against the bed, sitting up a decent bit. 

“Do you have a phone charger?” I pointed to my phone on the table. “I didn’t have it on me. Phone died when I first got here…” 

John nodded his head, getting up out of the chair, going around the edge of the bed, picking up my phone off the table. He checked to make sure my phone was the same type as his, digging his charger from his jacket pocket and plugging it into the wall, and the phone. 

“Guess that’s why I haven’t gotten any emails from you?” He flashed a slight smile, sitting at the foot of the bed. 

I flinched as he sat on the foot of the bed. I was expecting him to sit back in the chair, but I suppose this was alright. If anything, I got to get a close look at him. He’d never been this close to me before, apart from the occasional times in class when he’d call me to his desk, or when I was handing in my paper. I broke my silence, realizing I’d just been staring at him for a solid ten seconds.

“Yeah… I was actually trying to get that Lymphatic paper done when the battery died.” 

He chuckled, brushing his hair back. “You didn’t think to ask the paramedic?”

“Well, I was a little too unconscious to do anything about it.” I laughed, grabbing the water bottle he’d gotten me, taking a few sips. 

“So… If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? Last I checked, regular cold doesn’t put you down.” His smile wasn’t as wide anymore, just a slight smirk, a worried look in his eyes. 

“They said it was the fever. It’s not too often, but it was something about blood pressure slowing down, and it can make you faint.” I let out a sigh, brushing my hair from my face. “I have pneumonia. Said I’ll be able to go home by Sunday. Before my phone died I called Charlie about work- She covered my shifts.” 

John nodded, turning himself toward me, but staying at the end of the bed. 

“That’s good… Where do you work, anyway? I’ve seen you at the bus stop, Assumed you just go home.” 

I shook my head, “I work at that bar, Wallstreet.” 

“Good bar. They got some nice food.” 

I’d seen him there a few times, but I usually work in the back, and the lights are pretty dim, so it made sense he didn’t see me. Taking another sip of my water, I screwed the cap back on and set it back on the table. 

“So- Why’d you come to my apartment…? I get I wasn’t answering, but don’t people skip all the time?” 

He shrugged, “Just felt like something was wrong. You’ve never skipped, and you always email to let me know you won’t come in. Jimmy too.” 

I opened my mouth to speak, but John beat me to it. 

“I called you a few times, and it went to voicemail. Now, I know you don’t got a car, so when you get out of here, I want you to call me and I’ll come and take you home.” 

My heart ached. I wanted to say no, but before I could get a word out I found myself nodding. He smiled when I did, patting my lower leg on top of the blankets. 

“Alright. Settled then. You can keep that charger, I got another at home.” He then pushed himself up, standing beside the bed, once again towering over me. “You get out of here, get my number from your phone, give me a call.” 

I gave my usual half smirk, followed by a short, anxious laugh. 

“I will.” 

John turned on his heel, making his way to the door, stopping just before walking out. He looked right back at me. 

“You… You be safe now.” I could hear that strain in his voice again. John turned to the door, heading out and closing it behind him. 

That night I couldn’t get any sleep. I was up all night, thinking of John. The entire day flowed through my mind. He did all of that? Just for me? I hugged my pillow to myself, staring out the window as I lay there. I couldn’t help but wonder why he was so worried. Although, each of these thoughts was accompanied by that smile. That damn smile. He already had me wrapped around his finger. 

***

Sunday came around, and the doctor said I was healthy enough to leave. It was around six in the afternoon, the sky a perfect blend of orange and purple. I changed into a change of my clothes, and I made sure to grab his phone charger, along with my phone. 

I made my way out of the hospital, standing out on the sidewalk. Digging in my pocket, I pulled out my phone, staring at his number. I’d put him in as a contact by now. Should I call him? He’s already done so much.

It felt guilty to ask him for another favor. I started walking, keeping my phone in my hand, my backpack over my shoulder. As soon as I got to the street, I changed my mind. It was already quite cold, and there was a surprising bit of traffic. I looked back at my phone, hesitantly pressing the little green button. 

I held the phone to my ear, listening to it ring. After two or three times, he answered. 

“Hello?” 

“John?” I mumbled, hoping I got it right. 

“Hey! How you doin’ sweetheart? Doc let you out yet, or he keeping you longer?” Hearing him call me sweetheart filled my stomach with butterflies. 

“They let me out… I’m outside, are you still able to pick me up?” I prayed to God he didn’t change his mind. 

“Alright, I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Just wait at the front and I’ll pull around.” He had a bit of a singsong tone to his words. 

“Okay… Thank you, John.” I started walking back to the front doors of the hospital. 

“You don’t thank me until you’re home and safe.” He chuckled. I could feel the warmth of his voice, along with the relief. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was hoping I’d call. 

It wasn’t long before I spotted a black truck pulling into the front parking lot of the hospital. I walked to the edge of the sidewalk, raising my hand up to wave him down. He pulled right up to the sidewalk, quickly jumping out of the truck. I watched him run around the front. 

“What are you-” I stopped talking, watching as he reached in front of me, pulling the door open. 

“I’m opening the door for ya. Can’t let a lady open her door, now can I?” He had a cheeky grin on his face. His tone was sarcastic, but there was certainly some genuine kindness in there.

I stared at him for a moment, thanking him as I climbed in the truck, taking a seat and putting on the seatbelt. 

He did a light jog around the front of the truck, getting himself into the driver seat. John started up the truck, pulling out of the parking lot. I kept my head down, staying quiet, hugging my backpack to my chest. His truck smelled like him, like whiskey, with a hint of smoke. 

He kept his eyes on the road, only looking away to throw a glance my way every minute or two. 

“I’ll give you an extra week to do those assignments.” He broke the silence. 

I whipped my head to the side, my eyes a bit wide. I usually only need a day or two to get my assignments done, why is he giving me a whole week? 

“I- Thank you, John- I mean- Mr.Winchester.” I corrected myself. It felt odd to say his name. 

We eventually pulled up at a red light, the truck pulling to a stop. He then reached over, placing his large hand on my shoulder. 

“You can call me John. Just- Don’t do it in class, don’t need anyone getting the wrong idea.” He chuckled, although he didn’t move his hand. 

I felt chills go up my spine, and not the bad kind. I peer at him, holding my breath. His hand was warm, I could feel it through my t-shirt. 

I stopped holding my breath.

“A-Alright… Thank you, John.” A smile spread across my face. I fixed my gaze back out the windshield, watching the street. John did the same, eventually putting his hand back on the wheel. 

He then took a turn, now going the opposite direction of my apartment. 

“Uh, where are we going..?” I glanced at him for a moment, but I mainly kept my eyes on the road. 

“Gonna make sure you got somethin’ other than Miss Hanes’ soup. ” He flashed me that smile again, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. I wanted to turn on the radio, but I was too anxious to do anything other than just hug my bag and stare out the window.

I didn’t protest to getting some decent food. It’d been a while since I had anything I didn’t need to put in the microwave. 

After another two or three minutes of agonizing silence, he pulled into a parking lot, shutting off the truck. John pulled up to a small grocery store, stepping out of the truck.

“You wait here. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

He winked at me, then stepping back and closing his door. I watched as John walked away from the truck, heading into the building. I took this time to calm myself down, slumping in the seat and taking a large deep breath. My hands rose up, rubbing my face as I felt a shiver run over my body. 

Why is he doing all of this? He already came to my apartment, then got me a meal for the hospital, and even gave me his charger. Now he’s buying me groceries?

About ten or so minutes passed by, and I spotted John coming out of the store, holding at least four or five bags. He popped open the door to the truck, setting them in the space on the seat between us. Climbing into the truck, he closed his door, getting the keys and starting it up.

"I- I didn't think you'd get me groceries…" 

I tilted my head, reaching for one of the bags to see what he had bought. He extended his arm, playfully smacking my hand away from the bag. 

“Nuh-uh sweetheart. You don’t get to see that yet.” He had the smuggest little grin on his face, keeping his eyes on the road as he pulled out of the parking lot. 

Didn’t he just get them for me? Why can’t I see them? 

I let it go, just keeping my gaze fixed on him, admiring him from the short distance between us. 

***

Before it got too dark, he drove up to my apartment, parking as close to the door as he could. John shut off his truck, grabbing the grocery bags.

“You’re gonna have to get the door this time.” He let out a bit of a laugh, gesturing to the bags, since his hands were full. 

I giggled, opening the door and climbing out, grabbed my backpack and my phone. Closing the door behind me, I made my way over to him, that little smile still stretched over my face. 

“I would’ve gotten it the other times.” 

He shook his head, “I won’t let you.” 

John started walking to the front doors of the building, to which I followed along, opening the door so he could go inside. We didn’t say much, heading up the stairs to my apartment. I stepped in front of him, getting my keys to open the door. 

I pushed the door, stepping into my apartment, turning on the light. It was a small one bedroom, but it was home for me. He smiled, looking around the room as he followed me inside. I could feel my heart ache as he came in, I never thought I’d have my professor in my apartment. 

John stepped into the kitchen, putting the bags down onto the counter top. 

“So-” I went to speak, but he spoke over me. 

“You go get a shower, change your clothes.” He wasn’t even looking at me, just pulling food from the bags. 

I didn’t argue. The hospital gave me the clothes I was brought there with, and I wore them after a long day at school and work, so I couldn’t help but feel the need to shower. John made a little gesture with his hand, shooing me away. 

“Go.” He chuckled, throwing away the empty grocery bags. 

I nodded, heading into my room to grab a change of clothes, then to the bathroom. Finally. I closed the door behind me, setting my clothes onto the counter beside the sink. Reaching over, I turned on the water, getting it to a nice warm temperature. I peeled my clothes off, tossing them into the hamper in the corner, and climbing into the shower. I pulled the curtain as I got in. 

The hot water was refreshing, the pressure certainly better than at the hospital. I grabbed my shampoo, squeezing the bottle into my hand. I set it down, smearing the soap over my hair, then letting it run under the water, massaging it into my hair. 

By the time I got out of the shower, I couldn’t help but notice a wonderful smell filling the apartment. It smelled like fresh chicken. It then popped into my mind. Wait- Is he making me dinner? I thought it was just groceries.

Not wanting to keep him waiting, I quickly dried off, pulling on my clothes. Now that I knew he was cooking for me, it felt bad to have grabbed sweatpants and a sweater, I should’ve grabbed something nicer. I blow dried my hair a decent bit, just enough it wasn’t damp, then brushing it out. 

When I opened the door to the bathroom, I could see him at my small dining table, setting plates down, and- Is that sparkling water? I didn’t move, just standing in the door frame, eyeing his backside. His messy hair, the way his shirt hugged his torso. I shook my head, unable to prevent my cheeks from flushing a light shade of pink, stepping out of the bathroom. 

“I didn’t know you were going to cook…” I twiddled my thumbs, staring at the table. 

He whipped his head around, turning on his heel to face me, a big smile spreading across his face. 

“Hey there. Didn’t know if you slipped and fell, might’ve had to call the paramedics again.” He snorted, pulling a chair back at the table, gesturing to it. 

I let out a short laugh to his joke, taking a seat in the chair. “You didn’t have to cook for me. I really thought you were just grabbing some groceries…” 

John shook his head, pushing my chair in, sitting in the one across from me. 

“I did.” He glanced at the food, then back up to me. “I just figured you hadn’t had a good dinner in a while.” 

John stared at me, that damn smile plastered over his face, waiting for me to say something. I just stared right back, my stomach churning. 

“Well- I… I really appreciate it.” I smiled right back at him, then glancing down at the food. It was chicken parmesan, damn near perfect. 

“I didn’t know you could cook.” 

“And I didn’t know you were so pink.” 

It came to my attention that my face was still blushed, now turning a bright shade of red as he brought it up. 

He gestured to my food, “Go ahead, eat.” John then started to eat pick at his food, taking a bite every now and again. I could see him look up at me every now and again, eager to see if I liked it or not. 

I picked up my fork, taking a decent bite of the chicken parmesan. It was absolutely mouth water. 

“Oh my goodness- This is delicious.” I glanced up at him, a bit of surprise on my face. 

John didn’t say anything, just smiling, then going back to his food. 

***

Over dinner, we discussed things about school, my work, and eventually my stay in the hospital. When we got to the subject of my health, John seemed to grow worried. I was used to people feeling sorry for me, but John was different. He got a strain in his voice, the same one from when he came to the hospital. 

“So they don’t know what it is?” He wiped his mouth with a napkin. 

I shrugged, “They can’t figure out what it is. My immune system just isn’t working as well as it should.” 

“I- Is it getting worse?” I could’ve sworn I heard his voice crack just when he stopped talking, but I didn’t pay too much attention to it. 

“As far as my doctor says, no.” He let out a sigh of relief. 

“It just can’t protect me as well from things like colds and such. So, I have to be careful.” 

He nodded slowly, setting his elbows on the table and folding his hands. It was difficult to tell what he was thinking, but, I could tell through the worry that he almost looked… sad? 

Did I say something wrong? 

John then put his hands down, standing up from the table. I could see him flip that switch again, his expression changing immediately. 

“Well, my offer for you to sleep in still stands.” He grabbed our plates and glasses, walking them over to the kitchen, running some water on them. 

“I don’t need you coming in and getting sick like that again. It’s getting colder, you can get pneumonia again if you’re not careful.” 

I stayed silent. What was I supposed to say to that? I folded my hands in my lap, sitting sideways in the chair, watching as John rinsed the dishes and set them into the sink. He picked up a towel, drying his hands off. 

I got up from my seat, standing in the doorway to the kitchen. 

“Thank you, John.” I smiled at him. It wasn’t the smile I gave whenever he said something funny, or just opened the door. It was warm, appreciative. 

“See? You said it when you got home safe. That’s not so hard.” 

He chuckled, setting the hand towel down onto the counter, beside the sink. 

I pushed my hair back, taking a breath. I wasn’t sure how to say thank you, other than just words. Before I could come to a conclusion, I felt my own feet move beneath me, taking a step forward. 

I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him, tightly. John just stood there, not saying a thing. I could hear his heart from his chest, it was racing, and so was mine. Just when I went to pull away, I felt his arms wrap around me, hugging me rather tightly to him, his chin on top of my head. 

We stood there for at least a minute, both of us too afraid to move. Eventually we let go of each other. I took a step back, craning my neck to look up at him. 

“John-” I was cut off, feeling his large hands cup my face, his lips pressing against mine. I froze in place, it felt like my heart stopped. The warmth of his hands only added to the heat rising in my face. When the shock left me, I slowly raised my hands, one on his shoulder, the other on the side of his head. I returned the kiss, closing my eyes. He stepped forward, causing me to step back, up until he had me against the wall of the kitchen. I had always expected him to be a rough kisser, impatient, and quick. However, this was just the opposite. His kisses were deep, and careful, treating me like I was made of glass. 

Shortly after he had me to the wall, he stopped. John took a big step back, his breathing a bit heavy, as was mine. It felt like he’d pulled all the life out of me when he pulled his hands from my face, the warmth gone. I stared at him, slowly lowering my hands, twiddling my thumbs as I filled with anxiety, my face a hot shade of red. 

I didn’t know what to say. No words, no thoughts, just the memory of his lips against mine. He ran his hand through his hair for a moment, his face blank as he just stared at me. I couldn’t get the smallest idea of what was going through his mind. 

John reached over, grabbing his keys, stepping to the door frame beside me. He set his hand on my shoulder, sending chills throughout my body. Flashing me that smile once again, he broke the silence. 

“I uh… You be safe. Get some sleep.” His hoarse voice danced into my ears, the butterflies in my stomach acting up once more. 

John then turned on his heel, heading out the door, closing it behind him. I heard his footsteps trail down the hall, and with that, he was gone.


	2. Part 2

I couldn’t get Sunday night out of my head. 

It’d been three days since then, but John wasn’t speaking to me. I had been trying to talk to him the entire week, but each time he brushes it off, and avoids me. He’s looked exhausted each day, a sour, tedious look on his face. Class wasn’t any different. John was usually very interactive with his teaching, but ever since Monday morning, he’d just play a video and tell us to take notes, occasionally answering another student’s question or assigning an easy paper. 

Each day he’d get worse, his eyes getting darker, emotion draining from his face. By Thursday morning, he could barely keep his head off of his desk. Why won’t he just talk to me? What’s wrong with him? Did I get him sick? 

I did my best to take notes on the videos he was showing, which I was usually able to write almost everything in the video. However, I couldn’t help but stare at him, a worrying ache building up inside me. I wanted to go over there and hug him, and ask him what was wrong, but I couldn’t. He wouldn’t let me. Everyone would see me. 

***

Class went by without any interruptions. I packed up my things, getting up from my desk. I waited until the majority of people were out of the classroom before making my way over to John’s desk. 

“Jo- Mr.Winchester?” 

I couldn’t call him by name here. 

As soon as he heard me speak, he stood from his desk, turning to go into his office. It was a room adjacent to his class, the door in the back corner of the classroom. 

I knew how this was going to go. He’d just go in his office and lock the door, closing the blinds on the window. I wasn’t about to let that happen for a fourth time this week, not again. 

Taking a big step forward, I took a risk, grabbing his wrist firmly. I knew people might see me, but it’s worth it if it means I can stop whatever was wrong with him. I jerked his arm backwards, keeping him right where he was standing. 

“John I swear-” 

He turned, looking at me. His face was pitiful. It was sad, tired, a hint of anger showing up. 

“What’s wrong with you?” My voice cracked. “You spent the entire weekend-” 

I got cut off, his hand now grabbing my wrist. His grip was tight, stinging the skin of my arm. John pulled me into his office, glancing at the door to the classroom. As soon as he got me in, he let go of my wrist, closing the door, locking it, and making sure to close the blinds. He turned, looking at me, his expression almost like that of a sad puppy. 

“What is it?” His voice was hoarse and dry, like he hadn’t had anything to drink. 

I just stood there, staring at him in a bit of shock, my hand wrapped around my left wrist, rubbing the now red handprint on my arm. He didn’t seem to notice my arm at all.

“I- What happened?” I broke my silence. “You were so nice to me all weekend. Now- Now you don’t even look at me.” 

John didn’t say a word, he just kept his gaze fixed on me.

“I… Why did you kiss me?” 

He made an attempt to swallow whatever lump was in his throat. 

“I don’t know. I was- I-” He looked off to the side, his breathing getting a little heavy. “I was just going to take you home. That was supposed to be it.” 

“So, what happened? You were supposed to take me home? What changed?” 

“I- I don’t know. I’ve just always felt this- this obligation to make sure you were okay.” He draped his hand over his face. “I saw you in that hospital, and then next thing I know I’m driving you home- I felt like that wasn’t enough.” 

My heart jumped at his words. Why did he feel like he needed to protect me? We’ve talked a few times before the hospital, but nothing that was too serious. 

“So… When you kissed me,” I could see his face get a little pale at the mention of it. “What was that? I… I think I can understand you coming to take me home, but-” 

“I just felt myself move. I didn’t even think about it.” 

I felt my face grow hot. My mind immediately went back to when I hugged him. I didn’t think either, I just  _ did it.  _ It was oddly comforting to know he had done the same. 

“Well… I- I don’t like you shutting me out. Can we just- I don’t know...” I wasn’t sure what to say to him.

He opened his mouth for a moment, like he was going to say something, but nothing came out. 

“What are we going to do?” I stared up at him. Even when he was tired, his deep hazel eyes were still enough to trap me.

John stared right back, taking a deep breath. 

He then stepped forward, and just like that night, he cupped my face in his hands. I felt his lips crash against mine. They were warm, and soft. His beard lightly scratched against my skin. I closed my eyes, lifting my hands enough to just hold the cloth of his shirt in my fists. 

After a few seconds, he pulled away. Rather than stepping away from me like he did last time, he just looked down at me, his hands sliding down to rest on my shoulders. His eyes locked with mine. I was frozen in place, unsure of what to do. I felt John’s right hand lift off of my shoulder, his fingers resting on my jaw, his thumb running over my bottom lip. 

“You’re beautiful.” 

His words almost made my heart leap out of my chest. 

“John- I- We shouldn’t be doing this.”    
  
“I know.” 

John slid his other hand off of my shoulder, his fingers trailing into my hair. 

“But I want to.” 

His voice was low, almost like a growl. I held my breath.  _ What do I say?  _ John wasn’t moving either, just staring down at me. He wanted me to respond. I hesitantly let go of his shirt, lifting my hands. My left rested on his chest, my right wrapping gently over the back of his neck. 

With that, a grin spread across his face. He leaned down, starting to kiss me once more, pulling me closer to him. 

John’s entire body was warm, almost like a living space heater. The warmth was welcoming. I kept my eyes closed, my hand on his neck sliding up into his salt and pepper hair. He kept it up, occasionally let out a small groan, I did as well. Just like the first time, he was gentle, patient, although I could still sense that primal feeling from him. 

We kept up our endeavor for a decent minute or so, up until we heard a knock at the door. The both of us flinched, immediately backing off of each other. Without a moment’s notice, John pulled me over, putting me in the corner behind the door, cracking it open. 

“Yes?” He peeked out. 

John’s face went a bit pale as he suddenly backed up, Professor Novak walking into his office. He had his back to the door, John now propping himself back against the desk. 

“John- How are things with Miss Bishop?” 

John did his best to keep Jimmy’s attention, getting a flustered smile for a second or two before he quickly regained his composure. Once again, I watched him flip whatever mental switch he had. If it were a competition, I would’ve won for having the most ‘looks like they just shit bricks’ face. John glanced at me, at the door, then at Jimmy. 

“Well, uh...” He paused for a moment, resting his hands in his lap. “She’s doing better. I made sure she got home, that’s it.” 

John shrugged to him.

_ Oh.  _ I caught on, slowly shifting between Jimmy and the door, moving steadily until I was in the door frame. 

_ Thank God, he didn’t see me. _

I turned on my heel, walking a brisk pace out of the classroom, and onto my next class. 

***

The rest of my classes went well, without issue. On my way out the front doors, I could see John getting into his truck. As soon as he saw me, he got a big, giddy grin on his face, giving me a small wave. I returned it, doing my best to be subtle as to not be seen by anyone. 

When I got to the bus stop, I took a seat at the bench. I held my backpack to my chest, staring at my phone while I waited for the bus to show up. Hearing the engine of his truck, I lifted my head, watching as he peeled out of the parking lot. 

***

After I spent an hour or two at work, I was already getting quite tired, as I was struggling to sleep. Though, I kept on working, just serving people their drinks, bringing them their food. 

I made my way to the other end of the bar, one of my classmates filling a seat. He was about my age, a year older. When he saw me walk toward him, he grinned. 

“What can I get you?” I leaned against the bar top. 

He shrugged, “Just a beer.” 

I nodded, turning and grabbing a bottle from behind me. Turning back, I set it in front of him. 

“And maybe your number too?” He laughed for a moment, then staring at me. 

“Oh-” I paused. Sure, he was cute, but I didn’t even know his name. “I- Uh… I’m sorry, I don’t know you.” 

He lost a bit of the smile, but it was still there. “I’m in your class with Winchester. Name’s Lucas.” 

“Oh- Yeah. I remember you.” I’d seen him in class a few times, but that was all. I then told him my name, but he didn’t seem too interested in it. 

“When do you get off work? I was thinking we could go back to my apartment.” His grin changed, looking a bit more sinister now, but it wasn’t too clear. 

“I- Oh… Uh- Sorry. No. I don’t do hookups- And even then, I don’t know you.” 

He kept the smile. “Come on- I already know you don’t have a boyfriend, there’s no reason for you to say no.” 

Lucas kept insisting, taking a sip of his beer. I didn’t know what to do. Sure, people would flirt with me from time to time, but no one had ever acted like this. Charlie was more active in the bar, so she spoke to customers more often. 

I just stood there, dumbfounded. 

He grunted, “Okay, just stop being a bitch. I asked you a simple question. When do you get off of work?” His tone had changed, he was definitely more irritated now. 

I flinched as he raised his voice. It wasn’t loud enough that other people heard it, but it was enough to scare me. I tried to speak but I couldn’t, as if someone had their hand around my throat. 

_ No, no, no, no. He’s not here. He’s not here. He isn’t here, just talk. Tell him no, it’s just words, he’s not here.  _

My face was pale. At this point I could see his mouth moving, but I couldn’t hear the words coming out. I could feel myself start to shake, my eyes burning. 

_ No- Stop. He isn’t here. He can’t hurt you anymore, so why are you so afraid? Stop it, damn it…  _

I almost started sobbing right there in the bar when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Charlie. Thank goodness. She pulled me back a bit, leaning in close to Lucas’s face, saying something I couldn’t quite here. He raised his hands defensively, muttering something, along with the word ‘bitches.’ Lucas then left, disappearing into the crowd of people in the bar. 

Charlie turned, looking back at me. Slowly, all of the noise in the bar started to come to me. The people talking, the sizzle of the grill in the kitchen, the televisions hanging up around the bar. Charlie placed her hand on my shoulder, walking me into the back room. I didn’t resist, just following along until she got me into the break room, sitting me in one of the chairs. 

“Hey, Hey- It’s okay.” She sat in the chair across from me, placing her hand on my shoulder once again. I was still trembling, my face burning and tense. I gasped, finally breathing. I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath. 

“What happened? I heard that last bit of what he said to you, but why didn’t you say anything?” 

I stared at Charlie, watching as she took out a washcloth, wiping the mascara that had run down my cheeks. I didn’t even know I was crying. 

“I don’t-” My voice cracked, it was weak, and quiet. “I don’t know… He just started getting upset with me- And- And I didn’t know what to do…” 

I gasped again, leaning forward, holding my head in my hands. Charlie stopped talking, just slowly patting my back, gently rubbing my shoulder a bit. 

“Hey, I’ll tell Wallace what happened. You just go home, I’ll take care of everything.” Wallace was our boss. He was a kind man, and he was very understanding. “Okay? Do you have anyone who can pick you up? I don’t think you should take the bus.” 

I rubbed my eyes, slowly nodding to Charlie. 

“Yeah… Yeah- I have someone who can get me…” 

Charlie patted my shoulder, getting up. “I’ll go talk to him, you just call them and go home. Take a nap or something.” 

I stood up as well, wrapping my arms around Charlie. “Thank you, Charlie…” She wrapped her arms around me as well, patting my back before she let go. Charlie headed into the back office, and I could see her talking to Wallace. 

I didn’t want him to see me like this, so I hurriedly made my way out of the back room, and to the front of the bar, grabbing my coat and bag on the way. 

_ Should I call John…? No… I should just take the bus.  _

I knew Charlie didn’t want me on the bus, but I didn’t want to bother John, or risk people seeing us in public, especially after this morning. Turning to my left, I took a few steps forward, flinching and letting out a gasp. 

There he was. John. Leaned against the front wall of the bar, a cigarette in his mouth. He stared at me, then dropping the butt of the cigarette, stepping on it to put it out. 

“Hey, sweetheart.” His voice was low, and he looked worried. 

“John- I- What are you doing here?” I wrapped my arms around myself, as it was late, and getting pretty cold. 

“Well… Figured I’d stop by. Maybe order a drink, now that I know you work here.” 

He gave me a bit of a smile. 

“After this morning, felt wrong not to.” 

I put on a slight smile, lowering my head and looking at the ground for a moment, then back up at him. “Did… Did you see all of that?” I couldn’t help but wonder if he saw what happened with Lucas. 

John didn’t say anything, just nodding. I felt a burning sensation in my chest, the embarrassment and anxiety building up inside of me. 

“Hey- I can give you a ride home.” I didn’t want to call him, but if he was here, and offering, I couldn’t say no. I just nodded, walking up to him. He turned, walking into the parking lot, toward his truck. It was parked in the back, so no one would’ve seen us get into it. As we climbed in, he turned on the heat, as it was getting pretty cold already. 

John watched me for a few seconds, but he didn’t say anything. He pulled out of the parking lot, and we drove to my apartment in silence. I kept my head low, my arms wrapped around myself. Despite me calming down, I could feel tears run down my face every few seconds. 

***

After around ten minutes or so, John parked the truck outside of my building, getting out. As usual, he opened my door, helping me out of the truck. I still didn’t speak.

I wanted to thank him, but I was afraid if I started talking that I’d just burst into tears. 

He placed his hand gently on my upper back, walking me into the building. We marched up the stairs, arriving at my door. I took out my keys, fumbling with them for a second. My hands were shaking, both from the anxiety, and the cold. John let out a short sigh, reaching over and gently taking my keys from me, figuring out which was the house key and unlocking the door. 

Rather than going inside, he just pushed the door open, gesturing for me to go inside. It was cold in my apartment, as I left the ac on rather than the heat when I left. 

John leaned up against my door frame, staring at me, that worried look still on his face. 

“Do you want me to go?” 

I still had my arms wrapped around myself. Hearing him ask to leave only added to the aching pressure in my chest.

“No.” I croaked.

He stood there for another second or two after I spoke, then taking a step forward as he pulled the key out of the lock, closing the door behind himself, locking it back. John then turned back to me, wrapping his arms around me in an embrace. As soon as my face hit his chest, I broke down. I started sobbing, still shaking, my eyes half closed as tears poured down my cheeks. John just stood there in the hallway, holding me, rubbing his hand across my back. 

“It’s okay… It’ll be alright.” He whispered, his voice low, rumbling. John quietly shushed me, before he suddenly lifted me up off of the ground, holding me against his torso. He walked me into my room, sitting me on the side of the bed. 

Without a word, he kneeled in front of me, starting to untie and pull off my shoes, setting them to the side, along with my socks. John stood, leaning over me and peeling my jacket off of me. I didn’t resist it at all, just doing whatever he needed me to. As it went on, I slowly began to calm down. Although, no matter what happened, I couldn’t stop myself from quietly sobbing, and lightly trembling. 

John walked over, opening up my closet, looking around in it for an extra blanket, and on his way over he poked his head out the door to turn on the heat. 

I just stared at the floor, my skin ice cold, my chest still feeling tense. 

John brought the blanket over to the bed, wrapping me up in it, carefully pushing me to lay down. I did just that, resting my head on one of my pillows, now staring at the wall. 

I expected him to leave, but he didn’t. He took off his shoes and coat, climbing onto the bed with me. John laid on top of the covers, laying on his side as he put his arm around my back, and the blanket, pulling me close to him until my face was against his chest again. 

We laid like that, staying still, staying quiet. I didn’t think I was going to stop crying, but he somehow got me to stop. His hand was slowly rubbing up and down my back, despite the blanket around me. I couldn’t help but grow tired. It had been a long day, and after tonight I just wanted to sleep. Just before I slipped off to sleep, I felt John’s scruff lightly scratch against me as he gently kissed my forehead. 

***

The next morning arrived, my eyes fluttering open to see the bit of sunshine peeking in from between my curtains. I could feel the aftermath of yesterday. Everything was sore, my eyes felt heavy, they burned from crying so much. My nightmares were obvious, due to the imprints of my fingernails in my palms, and the sweat that glazed me. I rolled to my other side, only to see an empty bed. 

I sat up, looking around the room. Both of our coats were sat on my desk chair, our shoes on the floor. I then noticed a tshirt that didn’t belong to me, tossed on the foot of the bed. Slowly getting out of bed, I stretched, raising my arms above my head as I let out a yawn. 

“John?” 

I called out. 

“In here.” 

His voice came from the kitchen. I stepped out of my door, seeing John in my kitchen, cooking,  _ and shirtless. _ His hair was damp, seeming he’d showered. 

“I was gonna wake you, but I figured you needed the sleep. Looked pretty damn exhausted.” 

His voice was low, groggy. I never thought I’d get to hear his morning voice. 

“You go take a shower. I grabbed you some clothes, they’re on the counter in there.” 

I stood there, a bit shocked that he was taking such good care of me,  _ again.  _

Sure, it was nice, but I didn’t want him to feel like I was using him. I turned, heading into the bathroom, seeing a clean towel and some pajamas on the counter, like he said. 

A small smile crept across my face as I closed the door and stripped down, starting the shower. 

I climbed in, pulling the curtain back. The warm water was relieving, washing away the sweat and tears, doing a decent job for the sore feeling in my skin. I made sure to wash my hair, body, then taking a wash rag over my face. I did my best to clean off the mascara that had run down my cheeks when I cried. 

Eventually, I got out of the shower, shutting off the water. I didn’t want to keep him waiting like I did last time, so I dried myself off a good bit, and pulled on the baggy pajama pants and the large t-shirt. I didn’t bother with a bra, I was at home anyways. I didn’t waste time blow drying my hair either, just leaving it damp. 

I stepped out of the bathroom, seeing him still at the stove. There were two plates with toast, eggs, and bacon. When I looked at the pan, he appeared to be finishing up with the bacon. 

He heard me step into the room, flashing that smile at me. 

“There you are, doll.” 

Sweetheart was already playing with my heart strings, but now doll? He seemed too good to be true.

“Why do you have to have some weird obligation to cook for me?” I joked, walking up beside him, leaning against the counter. 

He let out a chuckle. 

“Well, when you have some weird damn need to cry every time you see me,  _ I feel _ the need to cook.” 

John set the freshly cooked bacon onto the plate. He handed me mine, carrying his over to the table, grabbing two water bottles from the fridge as well. I took one of the bottles from him, heading to the table. I set my plate down, taking a seat.

This time, instead of sitting across from me, he sat right beside me. I couldn’t help but glance over at him, eyeing him. I looked over the details of his tattoos, his muscle. I was grateful he was here. Usually, whenever something bad happens to me, I struggle to forget it, and I end up thinking about it the entire day. However, with him here, the entire issue from last night had melted away. All I could think of was him, and what he does for me. 

Despite the calming situation, I still felt something nagging me, sitting in the back of my mind. 

_ And then it hit me.  _

“Oh- Shit! I have class today!” I stood from my chair, almost knocking it over. I turned to dart into my room, only to have John reach up and snag my wrist. He pulled me back, standing with the perfect timing to pull me right into a hug, my back against him. 

“I already took care of it.” He placed his chin on top of my head, a small chuckle coming from him. 

“But- You need to teach- And- And I have my other cl-” 

John silenced me, spinning me around so I was facing him. He snatched me up off of the floor, carrying me over toward the couch. I yelped as I came off the ground, holding onto his shoulders tightly in fear that I’d fall. He plopped down onto my couch, keeping me in his lap. 

“Just be quiet.” He let out a small laugh, wrapping his arms tightly around my torso, holding me to him. Even with how tight he was holding me, he was still being surprisingly gentle with me. John then started to lightly kiss and nip at my neck. 

“John! That tickles..!” 

I squirmed, beginning to giggle and laugh. I places my hands on his shoulders, trying to wriggle away. 

“Too bad.” 

His voice vibrated against my throat. I flinched, his breath hot on my skin. John playfully rolled me over, laying me on my back onto the couch, placing light, quick kisses all over my neck, his hands letting go of my torso as he then started to actually tickle me. 

I yelped, “Jo- John! John stop it!” I burst into laughter, lightly kicking around, my face flushing red. “Stop it! That tickles!” 

He slowed down, eventually stopping, the small kisses slowing down as well. John lifted his head, one of his hands on the side of my face, the other pressed into the armrest of the couch to keep himself from crushing me. He pressed his lips to mine, kissing me thoroughly. I returned them just as eager, my hands over the back of his neck, one resting on his back, the other in his hair. This time, he was a bit rougher than the other two times. He was going much slower, but certainly being more passionate with each one. 

We stayed there for a few minutes, the both of us letting out small moans and gasps between each one. I lightly scratched his back with my right hand, his facial hair scuffing against my face. 

My jaw was beginning to get sore, but he didn’t seem to be getting tired any time soon. I slid my hand from his back, placing it firmly on his shoulder. Pressing my hand into his shoulder a bit, I pulled back, looking him in the eye. 

“We uh… We should probably talk.” I lightly smiled. “About this.” 

John stared down at me for a moment, examining my face, pure appreciation in his eyes. 

“I- Yeah… We should.” 

He kept that smile on his face, shuffling backwards carefully, now sitting back on the couch. I sat up as well, resting my hands in my lap. John ran a hand over his face, taking a breath. 

“So… What’s the plan here..?” I looked over to him, meeting his eyes once again. “Is this just temporary..?” 

John just stared into my eyes for a few moments, before he eventually looked away, staring down at the floor. 

“I uh… I’m not sure. I- Just- Just need to make sure you’re okay.” 

I lowered my head. 

“So- So it’s just pity? Because I get sick?” 

I looked away from him, pressing my back into the couch. 

“Doll- I- No. Hell no. That’s sure as hell not it.” 

He reached over, grabbing my hand out of my lap, squeezing it. I loved the feeling of his large, rough hand over mine. 

“Look- We haven’t known each other too long. That’s for damn sure.” 

John lifted his other hand, his fingers tracing my jaw, gently turning my head and tilting my chin for me to look at him. 

“How about we just don’t put any labels on anything. We just… Do what we feel. You want me to come over? Just lay down? Maybe cook? I will.” 

I nodded slowly.

“But what if someone sees us..?” 

He paused for a moment, thinking of the entirety of the situation. “Well… We just have to be careful. If we end up getting serious, then- Hell…” 

“You could get fired… And I can get kicked out.” 

“I know, doll. I’m sure as shit not about to let that happen.” 

He slid his hand back, brushing my hair from my face. I leaned into his hand, reaching up and lightly grabbing his wrist. 

“Then we just wait until you’re not my professor?” 

John nodded. “Sounds about right.” He smiled warmly at me, then pulling me close. He hugged me tightly to him, placing a kiss on the top of my head. 

“I’ll make sure you don’t get sick anymore.” 

All of the anxiety and pain in my chest from the night before was gone. John’s sweet words and his warmth just melting them away like they were nothing. He rubbed his hand across my back, “You’re never gonna spend another day in a hospital.” He gave me a gentle squeeze, “I won’t let you.” 

***

John eventually went home. He had to get some work done, and Jimmy was supposed to stop by his place for paperwork. 

I was practically melted into my bed. John had forgotten his jacket, which I had picked up, hugging it to myself. I laid there in bed, the smell of John all over the jacket. The whiskey, the hint of smoke, it relaxed me. He’d only been gone a few hours and I already wanted him back. 

Thanks to John, I was able to get plenty of rest, and relax from what had happened the night before. My teachers had emailed me the assignments for the day, which I had just finished a few minutes before I climbed into bed. John didn’t send me anything assignments, since he’d had the class taking notes from videos the entire week. 

I squeezed the jacket, burying myself into my blankets and pillows. My eyes then slowly began to drift shut, as I then fell asleep. 


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter has smut at the very end.

_ I can’t breathe.  _

_ What’s going on?  _

_ My neck hurts…  _

_ Why can’t I breathe?  _

_ I could feel my throat burning, my eyes the same as I writhed around, struggling. My eyes peeled open, sight blurry and unclear. The bed didn’t exist beneath me, it felt as if I was floating. Everything felt… numb, like it didn’t exist.  _

_ The familiar feeling of fear, pain, my consciousness fading, it all flooded my body and mind.  _

_ Why can’t I move?  _

_ I wanted to scream, but nothing came out. The only thing I could hear were my own gasps and cries as I struggled to pull the hands from my neck. A noise was beginning to rise in the background. It sounded like some sort of alarm. No- It is an alarm.  _

_ My attention was soon drawn away from the noise, the hands around my throat squeezing tighter. I gagged on my own breath, trying to kick my legs, but nothing happened. Before long, I couldn’t see. I couldn’t hear, just that alarm getting louder, and louder.  _

I lurched forward, sitting straight up in my bed, an audible gasp escaping my lips. My hands went straight for my neck, holding it firmly as I caught my breath. I could feel the sweat and goosebumps all over my skin. 

_ Just another nightmare… He isn’t here. He won’t be here. You hid well enough this time.  _

I threw the covers over, climbing out of bed. My head seared with pain, the usual ache that followed every nightmare. 

I did my best to ignore it, going about my morning routine, showering, getting dressed, brushing my teeth. I couldn’t get myself to finish my breakfast, only eating about a third of the bowl of cereal. My stomach was in knots, ruining my appetite. Ever since the incident at the bar, I couldn’t get much sleep. Despite how well I slept Friday night, it was soon followed by nightmares and cold sweats over the weekend. It shook me up just a bit too much than I had expected. 

I stood from the chair, pushing my hair out of my face as I grabbed my coat. Grabbing my keys as well, I headed out the door. 

*** 

It was raining. I liked the rain, it meant less people were outside, so I didn’t have to be around too many people. The buses were a bit empty as well. The one place that wasn’t as empty, was the student lounge at the university. Most people hung around outside, but due to the rain, everyone was inside. The noise from all of the people speaking and walking around certainly wasn’t doing me any favors, my head throbbing.

I stood, gathering my things into my bag, rushing to the nearest bathroom. As soon as I got in the door, I closed it behind me, letting out a sigh of relief. It was surprising to see I was the only one in here, but I wasn’t complaining. 

Upon looking in the mirror, I couldn’t help but notice the dark circles around my eyes. 

“Jesus…” 

I lifted my hand slowly, leaning toward the mirror, rubbing beneath my left eye. Despite how long I slept, I still wasn’t sleeping well. I looked like a zombie, my eyes red and irritated, eyes dark, face pale. It wasn’t enough that people would notice from far away, but enough that if they looked at me long enough they could really see it. 

When I heard the door open, I turned on my heel, making my way to my classes as usual. Stepping in the door, I saw a few people who showed up early to Mr.Winchester’s class. I simply went to my seat, sinking down into it, hugging my backpack into my lap as usual. It wasn’t long before  _ he _ walked in. Lucas. I never paid him very much attention until now. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. 

However, that didn’t go to plan. He made his way over, sitting right in the chair beside mine, being just a good three feet from me. 

I scooted to the edge of my seat, turning my head away from him. Even when I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel his eyes on me, burning a hole into me. I just lowered my head, putting it down onto my desk. 

To my relief, seven fifty five came around. John stepped into the door, his usual sarcastic grin on his face as he made some remark about the weather that I couldn’t quite hear. He went on to teach the class, only throwing a few glances my way throughout. After the fourth time of looking my way, he seemed to have seen Lucas, that sarcastic grin fading to something a little darker, and more irritated. 

Not much else was said, as he then switched over to making us watch a video with notes once again. He shut off the lights, and turned on the video, taking a seat at his desk. 

John sunk down in his chair, his gaze fixed on Lucas. Nobody else seemed to notice other than me, thanks to the lights being off. 

***

Class went by much faster with just the video on. I couldn’t get myself to take the notes, so I just set my phone up to record it, and I’d just write it down later. Thankfully, Lucas left class quickly, not saying anything to me as he made his way out of the door. I kept my head down, packing my things up. John stood by the door to the classroom, nodding to each student who went out. When I walked up, John placed his hand on my shoulder, a small, folded piece of paper in between his fingers. I took it, shooting him a quick glance accompanied by a slight smirk before I headed to my next class. 

***

Wallace had to go out of town for a family matter, so he closed up the bar for the week. He was still paying, so I wasn’t complaining, especially if it meant I had more time to sleep. 

I hadn’t read John’s note yet, just riding the bus straight home. The ride over was quiet, the rain tapping against the windows as it went down the street. When it stopped near my building, I hopped out, doing a light jog until I was in the front doors, lugging my bag over my shoulder. 

On my way up to my apartment, I shook off my umbrella, closing it up and strapping the bit of velcro. I dug my keys out of my pocket, sticking my key in the door and grabbing the knob. To my surprise, the knob turned already, the door pushing open. I paused, just staring at the space between the door and the frame.

_ I locked my door, right? Maybe I just forgot, wouldn’t be the first time. _

I pushed the door the rest of the way, flicking on the light. I didn’t see anybody, so I stepped into the apartment, closing my door behind me, making sure to lock both the knob and the deadbolt. 

“Hello?” I called out. Nothing. 

Walking into my bedroom, I poked my head in the door, turning on the light. No one. I did the same with the bathroom, no one, again. 

I couldn’t help but feel like I was being watched, so I made doubly sure to lock all of my windows up, check the front door, and close all of my curtains. The only one I left open was the one beside my bed. I plopped down, resting my head in my hands, rubbing my face as my headache only continued on. It hadn’t let up for the entire day, throbbing horribly. 

My head perked up as I remembered the note. I tugged my bag over, digging my hand in the front pocket to fish out the small piece of paper. I unfolded it, reading the words. 

_ ‘I’ll stop by if you need me to. I know you’re having a rough day.’  _

A small smile crept across my face, the anxiety subsiding. I set the note down on my bedside table, grabbing my phone as I started to text John. It was clear he saw how bad I looked today, and he was staring at Lucas, so he definitely knew how uncomfortable I was. 

I sent him a message, letting him know I’d like him to come over, asking if he wants me to get takeout as well. It took him at least five to ten minutes before he answered. 

_ [I read your note. I’d appreciate it if you came over again.] _

_ [Alright sweetheart, sit tight. Be there in ten. Don’t order anything.] _

My heart fluttered in my chest as he called me sweetheart again. It was always nice to hear him call me the little pet names outside of class. I pushed myself up out of the bed, kicking my shoes off of my feet as I unlocked the front door. After it was unlocked, I turned off the lights in the living room, only leaving the one in my bedroom turned on. Wandering over to my closet, I changed into some shorts, and a sweater. After John had grabbed my wrist, it had left a bruise which neither of us seemed to notice. I finally saw it when I had woken up Saturday morning. 

I started wearing the sweaters, not wanting him to see the bruising. 

As soon as I got done changing into some pajamas, I crawled right back into bed. I checked my phone a couple of times, waiting for John to text, or show up. Although, I didn’t stay awake very long, falling asleep after at least seven minutes. 

***

The sound of footsteps in the apartment caused me to wake, my eyes fluttering open as I lifted my head. He came through my bedroom door, sitting on the foot of the bed, looking over at me. 

“Hey, sleepyhead.” He chuckled, placing a hand on my calve. 

I grinned, “Hey- How long have you been here?” I slowly sat up, rubbing my eye as my other hand pressed into the bed to support myself. 

John patted my leg, “About ten minutes.” He glanced out the door, “I picked up some food on the way here. I was gonna cook, but you look a little too tired to come out and eat.” 

I nodded slowly, shifting myself to sit back against the headboard, my hands resting in my lap. 

“Yeah… Haven’t been sleeping well if you can’t tell.” 

I let out a short chuckle, but he didn’t laugh. John had that usual worried look on his face every time I wasn’t feeling well. He got up out of the bed, “Sit tight,” he walked into the kitchen, and I could hear the fridge open. John returned with a water bottle, and some aspirin. He passed them to me, then sitting on the edge of the bed again, this time closer to me. 

“Thanks-” I opened the water, sipping it, and taking one of the aspirins. 

After taking one, I sipped the water again, closed it, and set it down on the bedside table. I didn’t say anything, and neither did John. He just stared at me, that worried look still on his face. However, this time he had a slight smile with it, a warm one. He scooted closed to me, leaning in and pressing his lips to my forehead. 

I grinned, then tossing the blankets over, patting the bed beside me. 

John nodded, standing beside the bed as he kicked off his shoes, and removed his jacket. He seemed to have brought a bag this time, as he walked over to the chair in the corner of my room, digging in it as he pulled out some plaid pajama bottoms. I couldn’t help but stare at him as he pulled his shirt up over his head, dropping it into the bag, then moving on to undo his belt and his jeans. 

He glanced back at me, flashing that signature smile as he knew I was staring at him. I flinched when I saw him look at me, my face heating in embarrassment. John didn’t say anything, just dropped his jeans to the floor, now only in some briefs. 

I balled my hands into tiny fists, just holding them in my lap. 

John pulled on the pajama bottoms, turning and crawling on the bed, getting beneath the blankets beside me, his back to the headboard. 

“I’m gonna guess you enjoyed the show, considering how red your little cheeks got.” He chuckled, tilting his head down, kissing my forehead another time. I looked up to meet his eyes, my smile growing wider as I leaned into him. He wrapped his arm over my shoulders, his other hand resting on my leg, on top of the covers. 

“You just want to sleep? Watch a movie?” 

I shrugged, passing him the remote to my tv. “Whatever you want.” 

He grinned, his large hand squeezing my shoulder. 

***

John eventually found a good movie, it was a thriller, which only made me hold onto him tighter in fear. By the end of the night, I had fallen asleep on him, and he slid down in the bed, laying me on my back and making sure I was comfortable. 

Little did he know, I was far from it.    
  
***

_ I can’t do this again.  _

_ He’s going to find me.  _

_ It’s getting harder to breathe.  _

_ I could feel my face getting cold, my eyes watering. I expected to feel the hands around my neck, to get choked once again. However, this time was different. A shriek escaped my throat, as I felt a sharp pain in my ribs.  _

_ Another in my leg.  _

_ In my arm.  _

_ In my back.  _

_ Before long, they were everywhere. I could do nothing. I felt weak. The strikes kept coming, and I could hear the slurs and insults coming from all directions, but all from the same voice.  _

_ Although, it was cut short. I could hear one voice mixed in with the louder one, it was just saying my name. As the faint voice got louder, the strikes and pains got weaker, and happened less often.  _

My eyes opened, and I gasped, staring straight up. I could feel the goosebumps scattered across my body, my skin as cold as ice. When I came to, I could see John leaning over me, a pale, mortified look on his face. His hands were shaking, his brows furrowed. When he saw my eyes open, he let out a breath, lifting me up in his arms, hugging me against him. My arms were trembling, along with every other part of me. I lifted my arms up, wrapping them around his torso, tears starting to run down my face. 

John sat up straight, sitting me in his lap, rocking back and forth as he held me close. 

“It’s okay…” He shushed me, “You’re okay…” 

I did my best not to cry. He’d seen me do it so much already, I didn’t want him to see me do it again. I only let out small gasps and whimpers, digging my fingers into his back. 

John held his hand over the back of my head, the other around my back to support me. 

We sat like that for a few minutes, up until he slowly scooted back, leaning against the headboard, shifting so I was sitting right beside him. 

“I… Doll- What was all that about? You were shaking.. And- And you were crying, kept saying to stop.” His voice cracked, he sounded like he was about to cry. 

I didn’t say a word, just turning my head so my face was pressed to his chest. He took a deep breath, squeezing his arms around me for a moment, resting his chin on top of my head. 

“Hey… Nevermind that. You don’t gotta say nothing.” 

John sat there with me, rocking back and forth, keeping me against him. I let out a shaky exhale as he told me I didn’t have to say anything. I knew I’d have to tell him eventually, but I couldn’t bring myself to at the moment. Not long after that, I slowly drifted back to sleep, John still rocking me in his arms. 

***

I felt John flinch beneath me, causing me to wake as well. My alarm on my phone was going off. When I finally opened my eyes, John had moved so we were laying down, still holding me tightly, the majority of my torso on top of his. I sluggishly climbed off of him, shutting off the alarm. 

John sat up in the bed, stretching beneath the covers. “Morning.” He flashed me a smile. 

I returned the smile, setting my phone back down. 

“We gotta get to the university. You’ve got an hour to get ready if you want to make it on time.” 

John let out a groan, leaning his head against the headboard, “Alright, alright. You shower first.” He tossed the covers back, walking over to his bag in the corner of the room. I kept my eyes trained on him, everything from last night creeping back into my mind. I did my best to ignore it, making my way over to the bathroom, closing the door. 

Getting done with my shower, I wrapped myself in a towel, stepping out to grab a change of clothes from my closet. John stepped into the bedroom, wiping his mouth with a napkin. 

“I made some breakfast, I already ate, so you just grab some while I shower.” 

I nodded, to him, setting the clothes on my dresser. John then tilted his head, taking a few steps over to me, carefully grabbing my hand. He lifted it up, eyeing the bruise on my wrist with a now guilty, worried look on his face. The bruise was only a few days old, and wasn’t too bad, but it was still quite visible. 

“I- Was this from Thursday…?” 

I could hear the pain in his voice. I didn’t want to tell him, but my hesitation made it clear that he was right. 

John pulled me close to him, ignoring the fact I was still wet from the shower. He kissed the top of my head another time, then letting me go. 

“I’m sorry about that…” He shifted his hand beneath my chin, making me look up at him. “If I  _ ever _ and I mean  _ ever _ do something like that again, you just slap the hell out of me. You understand?” 

I kept quiet, just locking eyes with him, my breathing shallow. 

He repeated his question, his hand firmly on my shoulder. 

“I understand.” 

John nodded to me, “Good. Feel free to kick my ass any day of the week.” He laughed off the situation, but I could still see the guilt on his face as he paced into the bathroom, closing the door. 

I turned back to face my dresser again, drying myself off, and brushing out my hair. Once again, I wore a sweater, not wanting him, or anyone else to see the bruise. I finished getting dressed, now finishing up the scrambled eggs he’d made. 

John stepped out of my bedroom, fully dressed, his hair dried but not fixed. He had the overnight bag in his hand, pocketing his cellphone with the other. 

I stood with my plate, setting it in the sink. I grabbed my keys, my bag, John following me as we made our way out the door. When we got down to the parking lot, he stopped by the front door, placing his hand on my shoulder, a warm smile on his face. 

“What is it-” 

I got interrupted, as John had leaned forward, tilting my head back and placing a quick kiss on my lips. He patted my shoulder, heading over to his truck and climbing in. Giving me a small wave, he started it up and drove off. I could feel the heat in my face as it turned a faint shade of red. Turning on my heel, I started walking toward the bus stop. 

***

When I got to class, I was surprised to see John was there before his usual time of seven fifty five. He glanced over, his mouth curling into a slight smile. I returned it, then glanced over and saw Lucas on the far side of the room. Upon making eye contact with him, Lucas got a sour look on his face. He just stared at me, his eyes drilling holes into me. I looked away, and briskly walked to my usual seat, sinking into my chair. Even then I could still feel his gaze locked onto me. 

***

Class went by as usual, but this time I was able to focus, not having to worry about Lucas being right beside me. We didn’t have assigned seats or anything, but if there were any problems between students the professors would typically have one of them move. 

Just as it ended, everyone headed out of the classroom. John kept his eyes fixed on me, but he did his best to be subtle about it. I stepped out, heading to my next class. 

The next few hours flew by as expected, and I could finally go home. I sat on the bench at the bus stop, waiting for it to arrive. The rain tapped against the glass covering above the bench, dripping down to the sides and in front of it. Listening to the rain was always very comforting, the little taps, the dripping noises, water flowing down the sides of the street. 

***

I stepped into the building and climbed the stairs, certainly feeling much better thanks to John staying with me, and how quick the day had gone. 

When I got to my door, I went to unlock it, only to find it was once again, unlocked. This time, I knew I had locked it, especially since me and John left together. Chills ran down my spine, goosebumps forming on my skin. I pushed my door open slowly, flicking the light on. 

“John?” 

I called out, but to no avail. 

“Is anyone here?” 

I called out again. No response. 

As quietly as I could, I stepped into my kitchen, pulling a large knife from the wood block. I kept a tight grip on it, taking slow, light steps toward my bedroom, the knife held up near my head. I carefully checked every room, only to find nothing. When I knew it was safe, I let out a heavy sigh of relief, returning the knife to the kitchen. 

Once again, I checked the windows, making sure each of them were locked. Arriving at the one beside my bed, with the fire escape, I found it was unlocked, but not open. 

I couldn’t help but tense up as I reached over, locking it back. I took a step back from the window, staring at it in silence.  _ Did I forget to lock it?  _ I couldn’t help but doubt myself, wondering if I was just being paranoid because of what happened with Lucas. 

The silence was broken by my phone ringing, the sudden noise causing me to jump and let out a squeak. I turned, seeing my phone screen lit up, John was calling me. 

I picked up the phone, answering as I held it to my ear.

“Hey.” I smiled, “Since when do you call me first?” 

He chuckled through the phone, “Well, you can’t be the one to call me all the time, can you?” 

“I sure can try.” 

“Well, I was wondering…” He trailed off, a sweet little singsong tone to his voice. 

“You were wondering?” 

“I was wondering,” He paused again, “If you would join me for dinner tonight. At my place.” 

My heart jumped. I felt an involuntary smile spread across my face. 

“I- Yeah- Of course. Yes.” The words fell out of my mouth. I hadn’t gone out with anyone for four years, excluding when John made me dinner when I got out of the hospital. 

“Alright sweetheart.” He let out another laugh, hearing my embarrassment. 

I started thinking over what could happen, completely forgetting the unlocked door and window. 

“I’ll come pick you up at eight. Deal?” 

“Deal.” I giggled, saying a quick goodbye as I hung up. 

I immediately tossed my phone on the bed, looking in my closet for something to wear. It had been so long since I had worn anything dressy. Eventually, I found a decent dress. It was just dark blue fabric, with some buttons. I didn’t want to be  _ too _ dressy, since I was only going to his house, but I didn’t want to just show up in my usual clothes. 

I laid the dress onto the bed, setting my shoes on the floor beside it. It was only four thirty, I had plenty of time before he’d be here. Even then, I needed to get some work from class done. 

***

My anticipation was over as eight o’clock rolled around. 

I had fixed my hair a decent bit, just enough that it wasn’t too formal, but not to the point it looked like I only brushed it. My makeup was a light, natural look. Some simple diamond stud earrings in my ears, a silver necklace resting on my neck. 

I checked over my outfit one last time, turning here and there to examine myself.

I grinned, pleased with my clothes. My phone pinged, a text from John popping up on the screen. 

_ [I’m outside.]  _

I grabbed a coat on my way out. It didn’t match the outfit, but I’d only be wearing it for the trip over. I closed and locked the door, texting John back. 

_ [On my way out.]  _

My heels clicked on the old metal stairs. I pushed open the front door, spotting his truck in the usual spot. A smile spread over my face as I made my way over, climbing into the passenger seat, closing the door, and glancing over at him. 

He had this little smirk on his face, his eyes looking over every part of me. I immediately felt heat rise in my face as it turned red. 

“Damn… Look at you, all dressed up. Making me look like some  _ peasant.” _ He chuckled, pulling out of the parking lot. 

“Well- You said dinner so… I didn’t want to just show up in some jeans.” 

I anxiously laughed. 

John shrugged, “You look beautiful, is what I meant.” He looked back at the road, a little sarcastic smirk on his face now. 

*** 

The drive wasn’t too long. It wasn’t full of awkward silence either, as he’d turned the radio to play some old rock songs. 

John pulled up into his driveway, shutting off the truck. He glanced up at me, “Don-” 

I cut him off, “I know, I know. A lady should never have to open her door.” I giggled. 

He grinned at me again, getting out of the truck, lightly jogging to the other side, opening the door. Offering his hand, he guided me out of the truck, knowing I’d struggle with the heels. Once I was out, he shut the door, and locked it. He squeezed my hand in his, starting to walk up to his house. 

It was a large blue house, certainly something I could never afford. He guided me inside, unlocking the front door, stepping inside. The inside was just as nice as the outside. 

“And you said I made  _ you _ look like the peasant…” I let out a small laugh. 

John closed the door behind us, pressing his hand on my shoulder. 

“I said you make  _ me  _ look like a peasant. Not my house.” 

He had a cheeky grin on his face. John pressed my shoulder, walking me to his dining room. The table was set with plates and such, a bottle of wine beside two glasses. 

“You go take a seat. I’ll go grab the food. Left it in the oven to keep it warm.” 

I nodded, pacing over to one of the two chairs, pulling it back. Sliding my jacket from my shoulders, I draped it over the back of my chair. I took a seat, scooting my chair in. John was still in the kitchen, and I could hear him mumbling to himself. I could smell the food as well, and it smelt absolutely wonderful, as always. 

Before long, John came through the door into the dining room, holding a pot by the handles. He set it down on a little metal rack onto the table.

“Chicken Carbonara.” 

He flashed a smile at me once again, then picking up a plate, getting a decent helping on the both of them. After both plates were full, he set the lid on the pot. John placed my plate in front of me, taking a seat in his chair. 

“Goodness- This looks amazing… Last time I tried to make chicken I burnt it…” I let out an anxious chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck a bit.

John let out a short laugh as well, pushing his unruly hair back. 

“Really? Actually- No. I can believe that.” 

He began eating his food, and I followed suit. While I continued eating, he opened up the wine bottle, pouring it into each glass. John set one of the two glasses beside my plate, nodding his head to it. I reached over, taking the and sipping at it. 

We just sat and ate, not saying much, other than giving the occasional compliment on the food. 

“So…” He broke the silence, “I know you might not want to talk about it, but what happened last night?” 

I tensed up a bit, taking a deep breath. 

“I- Well…” I lowered my head, staring at my plate. “I’ve been having these nightmares.” 

John took in a sharp breath, biting his lip for a moment. I could see the worry building up in his face again. 

“I have an ex boyfriend. He wasn’t really… The best person.” I sighed, looking at John for just a moment before looking away. “He hit me… A lot.” 

He didn’t say a word, but I could see the sullen look building up in his eyes. 

“I wasn’t allowed to leave the house very often, or work. No friends either…” I felt a shiver wash over me, “Then- Then my parents… I couldn’t stay after that. So- I left.”

John reached his hand over, gently placing it over mine. 

“I changed my last name, and I left.” 

“Doll-” 

“It’s fine. It’s been over a year, and I haven’t heard from him since.” 

John sighed, getting up out of his seat. He turned my chair a bit, taking a knee beside me. Reaching up, he grabbed both of my hands, holding them in my lap. 

“Look at me.” 

I lowered my head, squeezing his hands at the same time he did. 

“He’s gone.” He locked his eyes to mine. “He won’t find you, and I won’t let him anywhere near you. If he  _ ever  _ comes near you again, I’ll put him in the ground.” 

John slowly stood up, stepping a bit closer to me as he leaned down, kissing my forehead. I tilted my head back, looking him in the eyes once again. 

“Thank you, John.” 

I felt my lips curl into a smile, to which John leaned down again, pressing his lips to mine. He gently placed his hands on the sides of my head, like he always did. I closed my eyes, gripping the skirt of my dress tightly in one hand, the other resting on his wrist. 

John slid one of his hands down, holding my upper arm firmly. He slowly pulled me up until I was standing, but not breaking the kiss. I stood, my hands shifting to grip at his shirt. 

My face burned hot, and I could feel his heating as well. He kept one hand on my face, the other moving from my upper arm down to my waist, pulling me against him. 

I gasped, clutching his shirt tightly in my hands. John walked forward, taking a few steps, making me take a few going backwards. After two or three steps, he slid both of his hands down, lifting me up and holding me against him. He pulled my legs around his waist, his hands holding my thighs to support me. I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, running my fingers through his hair. John started walking toward the stairs, marching up them. 

Shortly after we got to the top of the stairs, I felt my back press against a door. He pushed it open with his foot, kicking it shut. By now, both of us were breathing heavy, panting. He laid me out on his bed, pressing his knee into the bed, his other foot just barely off the floor as he kept up with his kisses. Unlike any of the other times, he started to get rougher, hungrier, that primal feeling now becoming primal action. 

I dragged my hand over his back, grasping at his shirt once again, my other hand still in his hair. One of his elbows was pressed into the bed, right beside my head. He finally broke the kiss, leaning his head back. He just stared down at me, panting, his eyes looking over me. I took the time to catch my breath, smiling up at him. 

John paused, opening his mouth for a moment. 

“I.. Are you- Are you okay with this?” 

I slowly nodded, “Yeah- Yes…” 

John grinned, lifting his hand, brushing my hair from my face. He climbed off of the bed, reaching down as he carefully started to pull off my shoes and socks. Standing back up, he pulled me forward to sit up, grabbing the skirt of my dress, sliding it up. I lifted my arms, letting him pull it up over my head. 

I took a deep breath, gripping the blankets in my hands, feeling awkward as I sat there in just my bra and panties. John seemed to notice, placing his hand on my cheek, turning my head toward him as he placed a short kiss on my lips. He pulled back just an inch from my face, looking into my eyes, smiling.

“You alright?” 

I nodded, “Yeah…” I took a breath, smiling right back. He reached behind me, removing my bra with ease. I did the same, reaching over his shoulders to grab his shirt. He beat me to it, pulling it up over his head, tossing it on the floor. John then stood up, glancing at me for a moment.

“Get comfy, it’s going to be a long night.” He joked, giving a light chuckle. 

I shifted, crawling over to the pillows. I sat beside them, watching John as he unbuckled his belt, slipping it off. He then undid his jeans, kicking them off, along with his shoes and such. John had a wolfish grin spread across his face, crawling up on the bed, making his way over toward me, not breaking eye contact. As he got to me, he pressed his hand against my chest, slowly laying me down against the pillows. He panted, examining me before he started placing gentle kisses at my jaw, down my neck, trailing down my shoulders and chest, and eventually down my stomach. 

He tilted his head, staring up at me for a moment. John then slid his hands over my thighs, his fingers slipping under the hem of my underwear, pulling them off slowly. I laid my hands on my stomach, having them in loose fists. Throwing them off to the side, he rested his hands on my knees, looking at me, as if he was taking it all in.

At this point, my face was burning so hot it could fry an egg. I gave him an awkward grin. It had been a long time since I’d done this with anyone, and even then, John was being much more passionate about everything. He leaned down, placing a kiss on my knee, trailing them down my thigh. A shiver washed over my body, feeling his stubble scratch against my skin. John kept his eyes half closed for the majority, occasionally diverting his eyes to look up at me. As he got down to my slit, he paused, lifting his head a bit. 

“I’ll take care of you.” 

That wolfish grin was back, his eyes locked with mine for a few seconds. He then sunk down, laying on the bed between my legs, hooking his arms around my thighs. When he dragged his tongue over my folds I flinched, gripping the sheets for a moment. He took a deep breath, then starting to lap his tongue at the little bundle of nerves. I yelped, immediately putting a hand over my mouth. 

John let out a short, quiet laugh as he saw I was already squirming. Although, he didn’t let up, absolutely assaulting my clit. I felt his hand drag down off of my thigh, slipping underneath me. He then pushed two of his fingers into me, curling them teasingly. I arched my back, gasping, keeping my hand over my mouth. 

“Fuck- Fuck! John..!” 

I cried out, slipping my hand down, running my fingers into his hair. He glanced up at me when he felt my hand, but quickly looked away. I felt the heat building up in my core, my legs starting to tremble. 

John felt my legs shaking over his shoulders, which only caused him to thrust his fingers faster, hitting all the right places. Before long, I arched my back again, letting out a loud squeal as I reached a climax. John didn’t stop, riding it out as long as he could, eventually slowly down and stopping. He let go of my other thigh, sitting up, staying between my legs. John sucked his fingers into his mouth, cleaning my slick off of them. 

“Look at you…” 

He grinned, his eyes scanning over every bit of me, watching the writhing little mess I was. 

“You gonna make it? Earth to Bishop.” 

John chuckled, then shuffling around to get his briefs off, tossing them onto the floor like everything else. He moved back between my legs, gently grabbing my hips. 

“Wait- Have you done this before?” 

I nodded, “Just once.” I didn’t want to say much else. 

John nodded slowly, “Gotcha.” He grinned again, then leaning forward. John lined himself up, then glanced up at me another time. He slowly leaned forward, pushing his elbow into the bed, his hand on my cheek as he kissed me another time. Trailing the kisses down my neck, he stopped at my shoulder, nipping at my skin. I leaned my head back, letting out a quiet moan. However, it didn’t say quiet long, as he pushed a decent bit into me. I yelped, digging my nails into his back. 

He huffed against my shoulder, his other hand tightly grabbing at my hip. John was certainly  _ much _ larger than  _ him _ , I didn’t expect it. He paused, then slowly pushing the rest of the way in, bottoming out. This drew a moan out of me, followed by a few gasps. 

I wrapped my legs around his waist, dragging my nails up a bit, leaving thin red lines on his skin. 

“Alright…” John took a deep breath.

He pressed his hand and elbow into the bed, gripping the covers a bit. I could feel his other hand squeeze my hip, it’d likely bruise later, but I didn’t mind at this point. John then started grinding his hips, going at a slow pace, gradually speeding up. 

I could feel that heat building up in my core once again as my walls clenched around him, trying to accommodate to his size. He let out a few groans, and I did the same. Mine were much louder than his, only getting louder as he thrusted faster. John dug his nails into my hip, his hips slamming into my core at a now mind-shattering pace. 

He wasn’t being so gentle anymore. 

The ache inside of me grew stronger, turning into little bursts of white lights, like I was seeing stars. He didn’t stop or slow down. My legs were trembling once again, weakly staying wrapped around his waist. I hadn’t noticed, but I had scratched up his back, plenty of red lines all over his upper back. His breath was hot and heavy against my skin, and I could feel the both of us sweating. John pulled his head back, pressing his lips to mine, swallowing my moans and whines. 

He kept up his pace for a solid minute, then leaning back to sit up, but he didn’t stop. John kept a hand firmly on my shoulder, his other hand still locked onto my hip. I could feel him twitching inside me, and I could feel the building heat in my core. I couldn’t help it, throwing my head back, arching my back, and letting out a loud moan as I climaxed. John matched me, letting out a low groan, almost like a growl as he emptied deep into me. 

I panted heavily, slowly coming down from the high. John rubbed my shoulder gently, slowly pulling out and collapsing onto the bed beside me. I rested my hands on my sides, staring at the ceiling in silence. 

John caught his breath, then slowly rolling onto his side, looking down at me. 

“You still breathing?” 

He let out a short laugh, then just warmly smiling at me. 

I nodded, “Yeah…” I turned my head to meet his eyes. “Was that alright..?” 

John furrowed his brow, “Alright? That wasn’t alright. That was absolutely amazing.” 

He gently rested his hand on my jaw, leaning in and placing a short kiss onto my forehead. 

“Yeah.” 

I smiled, letting out a huff as I caught my breath, staring at the ceiling. 

_ How did I get this lucky?  _


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Kissing, Alcohol/Drinking, Older Man/Younger Woman, Inappropriate Teacher/Student Relationship, Mild Language, Infatuation, Trauma/Abuse(Mentions of them, specifically just some thoughts, no scenes.), Violence, Stalking
> 
> A/N: So, I threw in some of John’s POV again. I figured it’d add some necessary spice. This episode is very very dramatic and a lot happens very quickly.

_ I can breathe. _

For the first time in days, I could breathe. I didn’t see one bit of the nightmares that night, I slept like a baby. I slowly sat up in the bed, seeing the room lit up a dim orange color as the sun rose, shining in through the open curtains.

When I looked around, I could see that I had been tucked in under the blankets, and that John was no longer in the room. Throwing the covers back, I noticed some light bruising on my hips and thighs, which was expected from the night before. I pushed myself up out of the bed, wincing as I felt the strong ache in my legs and between my thighs.

I pushed through the small pains, picking John’s shirt up from the floor, along with my underwear, slipping them on.

“John?” I called out.

Nothing.

I took a few steps, pulling the bedroom door open. Just as I did, I heard music coming from downstairs. It was old rock. John. A smile crept across my face as I heard it. I made my way down the stairs, doing my absolute best to be quiet. I poked my head through the door of the kitchen, seeing John with his back to me, standing at the stove.

On the island, there was a large breakfast. Pancakes, blueberries, eggs, bacon, toast.

_ Jesus… This man really can cook. _

I steadily padded over behind him, keeping my head down. The loud radio he had on the counter hid the sounds of my footsteps. Just as I got behind him, I reached forward, tickling his sides.

John shouted, whipping around and grabbing me. One of his hands grabbed my wrist, the other gripping my neck firmly, but not enough to stop me from breathing. 

I felt fear shoot through me, chills going down my spine.

_ He’s not here. _

John let go of me as soon as he grabbed me, taking a step back, a shocked look on his face. He didn’t say a word, just staring at me, his breathing now quic, but quiet.

I stared up at him, my hands tense at my neck as I panted. My body was frozen, I could feel my face grow cold.

He took a step forward, raising his hand, resulting in me flinching. John flinched as well, remembering everything I’d told him the night before. He carefully grabbed both of my wrists, pulling them away from my neck, making sure he was slow enough as to not startle me.

“Doll- I- I’m sorry.” His voice cracked.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I didn’t feel like I was going to cry. The only reason I knew I was shaking was because I could feel his hands trying to steady my wrists. John eventually let go of them, lifting his hands, wrapping them around me. Each of his movements were very slow, and careful, treating me like I was made of glass once again. He squeezed my tightly to him, his hand over the back of my head.

“I-” He huffed. “-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that...”

John’s other hand rubbed over my back, doing his best to comfort me.

“Just scared me, that’s all...”

I was still tense, but I could feel myself calming down. Even then, tears still dripped down my cheeks. My face still cold, goosebumps still littered over my skin.

John kissed the top of my head, mumbling. From what I could hear, it was just him saying he’s sorry every couple of seconds.

Eventually, I took a step back and John was reluctant to let go of me. He stared down at me, his hands shaking. It looked as if all my fear had transferred into him. I stared right back up at him.

“It’s- It’s okay, John…”

He didn’t respond.

“Are- Are you okay?”

John reached forward, pulling me against him a second time. I yelped, having my face pressed against his chest.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know...”

“No- No you don’t know. You told me all of that last night because you trust me, and I went and did that to you...”

I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him in return.

John shuddered, his breath shaky.

“I just- I haven’t had anyone here with me in a long time. Thought someo-”

I pushed my palm against his mouth.

“John-” I stared up at him. “-it’s okay.”

John nodded slowly, to which I lowered my hand.

“You just remind me so much of her...”

I tilted my head, confused. “Who…?”

“Just go sit at the table-” John took a deep breath, “-I’ll tell you in a minute. I know you’re probably hungry, since you didn’t get to finish your dinner.”

I nodded my head, “Alright...” 

John slowly let go of me, and I took a step back. 

I still felt the goosebumps on my skin, but I knew I’d be alright. Walking into the dining room, I took a seat where I had sat down last night. All of the dishes from the dinner were gone, but my jacket was still on the back of the seat.

For the next couple of minutes I could hear dishes clatter and the gas stove make the clicks as the flames turned on.

In due time, John came out of the kitchen, carting two plates along with him. He set one of them down in front of me, and he sat down with his. I was going to ask him to explain again, but when he didn’t speak I felt an obligation to leave it alone.

***

Just before we got done with dinner, John lifted his head. The mortified look on his face was now gone, but he still appeared quite worried.

“Mary.”

I poked my head up, “Hm?”

“Mary. You remind me of Mary.”

I wiped my mouth off with a napkin, setting it down on the table.

“Is- Is she your wife?”

I felt a knot tying up in my stomach. 

_ Is he married? _

_ “Was.” _ He looked down at his plate, “She  _ was _ my wife. She uh… She passed away from cancer a few years back.”

As he explained, it started to make sense what he meant. Him suddenly visiting me in the hospital, taking me home, that first dinner. This was why he had that sad look in his eye every time he looked at me. I didn’t say a word, just staring at him silently.

“It was a long time ago... My boys were only one and five.” He sighed, “Been a long time since anyone has lived here, so when you came up behind me- I just…”

I nodded, “Yeah. I get it. I’d get scared too…” 

I reached my hand out, resting it on top of his. Everything in me wanted to jump up and hug him to pieces, to help him feel better, but I figured it would be too much for the situation. John folded his hand over, squeezing mine gently. He gave me a small grin.

“I- Are you alright with that? Knowing I was married?”

I could sense the fear in his voice. 

I tilted my head, “Why wouldn’t I be?” I flashed him a slight smile.

John’s little smile spread, turning into a big giddy grin. He squeezed my hand again, but only for a moment.

***

John let me use his shower and washed my clothes. 

As I came out of the bathroom, I smiled at the sight of my clothes which were neatly folded on top of the bed, my shoes on the floor just below. I then noticed a small folded paper resting on top of my dress. I picked up the note, unfolding it and reading the messy handwriting.

_ ‘Went to work. Left money for a cab on the counter.’ _

I smiled at the small heart scribbled on the bottom corner of the paper, a ‘J’ next to it. Warmth spread throughout my body, all the goosebumps from earlier had already faded out. I pulled on my clothes, leaving my jewelry on his dresser. I didn’t like showing up to the campus looking too dressy, I felt odd with all of the attention.

When I got downstairs, I saw the folded bit of cash on the counter top in the kitchen. I unfolded it, only to discover it was around one hundred dollars.

_ A ride to campus is only thirty, why did he give me so much? _

***

As I walked into class, John was already there, half an hour earlier than he usually was. I shot him a quick glance, my eyebrows raised a bit, with a little grin. He only gave me a slight smirk in return. I immediately lowered my head, knowing I had to be careful when I was in public. Pacing over to my seat, I slid down into my chair, adjusting the skirt of my dress.

_ It only went south from here. _

Lucas sluggishly came in through the door. He’d clearly been drinking, and it wasn’t a hangover. He walked over beside the desk, and I could smell the alcohol on him before he even got two or three feet in front of me. I kept my head down, avoiding eye contact.

However, what I couldn’t ignore, is that he didn’t sit down. Lucas stood there, right beside my desk.

“Lucas.” John’s voice broke the tense silence, “Your seat is on the other side.”

Lucas grunted, pushing his hair back as he turned to look at John.

“No-” He scoffed, “You know- I shouldn’t have to sit over there.”

My heart sank, my stomach twisting in a knot.

“This bitch shouldn’t be so scared-” Lucas let out a short chuckle, “-she had to go running to admin because she’s afraid like some little girl, snitching to the teachers.”

Lucas’s shouting only caused me to tremble. I did my best to stay calm, not wanting to escalate anything. 

Before I could even look up, I felt his fingers slip into my hair, gripping it tightly against my scalp. I couldn’t even get out a scream as he slammed my face straight down onto the desk.

I heard a few people yell, a burning sensation flooding into my face as my eyes began to water. Little white lights fluttered through my eyesight.

When he brought my face back up, I saw John leap up out of his chair, almost sprinting over.

He slammed my face down into the desk again, but this time, I couldn’t see a thing. I felt my head slam down into the desk two more times before it all went black.

***

*JOHN’S POV - MOMENTS BEFORE*

***

I leaned back in my chair, knowing it was only half an hour until the rest of the class showed up. The chatter out in the hallway was enough to tire me.

_ When is she going to get here? _

I didn’t notice until the third or fourth time, but I kept glancing at the door, waiting for her to get her. When I heard the clicks of those little heels come in the door, a slight grin spread across my face. I kept it under control, knowing I had to keep myself in check.

She gave me that little smile, and I could feel my heart thump.

_ Her smile is so beautiful. _

I watched as she sat down, then staring out at the other students who were already in their seats. The class was mostly silent, as it was early, and most of the students were tired. I shifted my gaze to the door as I got a whiff of alcohol, only to see Lucas stumble into the door. That surely wasn’t a hangover, he’d been drinking, in the morning. 

_ I don’t even do that on my bad days. _

Lucas made his way toward the desks, but rather than going to the opposite side of the classroom, he went over to the left, on the side with Bishop. I tensed, sitting up straight. The look of discomfort on her face was clear.

“Lucas.” I raised my voice, noticing about half of the class looking up at me.

“Your seat is on the other side.”

He grunted, shifting his gaze over to me, mumbling something I couldn’t quite hear. Lucas then turned back to her.

“No-”

I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.

“You know-” Lucas scoffed, “I shouldn’t have to sit over there.”

“This bitch shouldn’t be so scared-” He laughed at her for a short moment, “-she had to go running to admin because she’s afraid like some little girl, snitching to the teachers.”

Before I could get another word out, I saw him grab her head, slamming her face into the desk. She didn’t even react, her eyebrow splitting. I lunged out of my chair, watching as he slammed her head down a few more times.

Some of the students had stood by now, some of the boys rushing over, the girls just sitting there with shocked looks on their faces.

Without a second thought, I rushed him, tackling him to the ground. He groaned, tossing a few punches. I drew my fist back, landing one hit right to his jaw. Lucas’s head fell back limp, and he was out like a light. Slowly standing, I brushed my hand through my hair, staring down at the young man on the floor. One of the girls had called security from the hallway, and two men came in, glancing over at me in an effort to understand the situation.

My mind went elsewhere. Lucas wasn’t a priority. I turned, leaning over Bishop’s desk, lifting her head up. She was out cold, blood covering her face, seeming to come from both the injury on her brow, and her nose. 

I looked up toward security.

“Call an ambulance!” I shouted, watching them just stare in silence. None of the students had ever heard me yell before.

“Now!”

Some of the students flinched.

_ I didn’t care. _

***

*YOUR POV - LATER ON, AROUND FIVE PM*

***

My eyes fluttered open, an aching feeling residing in me.

I squinted, my eyes sensitive to the bright lights on the ceiling. I knew that light from anywhere. I was in the hospital again.

_ Fuck. _

A sharp pain seared through my head, going down to my neck. I winced, pressing my hand to my forehead. As soon as I made a sound, I heard another. It didn’t come from me.

When I looked over, I saw John, sitting right beside the bed. He had a bruise forming on the left side of his face.

I opened my mouth to speak, but he was already holding a water bottle in front of me.

“Drink.” He broke the silence.

I eagerly drank the water. My throat was dry, my head still terribly aching. When I finished with the water, John closed it, setting it back down.

“What happened..?” My voice was raspy.

“Lucas.” John cleared his throat.

“Lucas attacked you. Pretty sure he was drinking…”

I winced again, another shot of pain going through my head. 

John flinched at the noise, his face pale. He looked terrible, disregarding the bruise. The memories of the incident suddenly came flooding back. The sight of John flying out of his chair, the other students just watching and doing nothing, my blood on the desk.

“The doctor said you have a concussion… Pretty bad one. I already spoke with President Shurley. He’s going to contact Lucas’s family, discuss it, but it just looks like he’s getting expelled.”

“I- Why are you here…? People are going to see you…”

I couldn’t help but be worried about the situation. If anyone saw him here, they’d surely catch on.

“It’s fine. I explained how you don’t have a car and take the bus. Shurley even agreed you sure as hell shouldn’t be on a bus with all that.”

I nodded slowly. The knot in my stomach still didn’t go away. Even if he explained it, I couldn’t help but be anxious. He was risking his job to make sure I got home safe.

“What about you?”

I gestured to the bruise on his face.

“It’s fine. I’m alright, hun. He got in a few hits, but I took one to his jaw and knocked him the fuck out.”

John chuckled, and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw it. His smiles were always contagious.

He kept me company for the next hour or two, but now that I was awake, the doctor had come in and discussed my condition, and what to do. Overall, the doctor cleared me to go home, but insisted I have someone go with me. John didn’t hesitate to offer. I got released, and John walked me out to the truck. My legs felt weak, both from the night before, and the overall stress from today. When we left, John drove toward his house, rather than my apartment. At this point, I didn’t mind it. I didn’t feel like being alone, or going back to an empty apartment, and being paranoid from an unlocked door.

***

When we got to John’s house, he lifted me up bridal style out of the truck, cradling me to him. He was careful not to bump my head onto anything, bringing me inside. He locked the door behind us, carrying me up the stairs, and laying me down on the bed.

I stared up at him, resting my hands on my stomach, letting out a relieved sigh as my head hit the pillow.

“You wait here. I’ll get you some dinner and run a bath.”

John took a step back, keeping his eyes on me for just a moment, then walking into the bathroom.

***

I slowly walked out of the bathroom, leaning on the wall, holding the towel around myself. John sat up in the bed, putting down his book as he eyed me. 

“Bath do any good?” 

I nodded, “Yeah… Definitely feeling better.” 

I gave him the best smile I could, only to tilt my head down and wince, another shot of pain searing through. 

He stood from the bed, walking over to be at a brisk pace, putting his arm over my shoulders. John walked me over to the bed, sitting me on the side. 

“Picked up some clothes while you were out. Hope you didn’t mind me going to the apartment- And- You forgot to lock your door.” 

I flinched when I heard about the door. 

“I locked my door.” 

He froze. 

“Are you sure? It was unlocked when I got there.” 

“I’m sure… Wasn’t the first time either.” 

John nodded slowly. “Alright, uh… You’re staying here. We’ll deal with that later.” He grabbed a shopping bag off of the bench at the foot of the bed, pulling out some pajamas. They looked pretty expensive, but at this point, it wasn’t very surprising. John grabbed some underwear as well, sliding them up my legs. I shifted so he could get them on, which he followed up with the pajama shorts. I went ahead and dropped the towel, since he’d already seen me, I didn’t mind. 

John paused for a moment, as he wasn’t quite expecting it. He then grabbed the shirt, pulling it over my head. 

“Comfortable?” 

I nodded. 

He leaned down, placing a small kiss on my forehead. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he guided me back to the bed. I crawled up, lying down on my side. John undressed, changing into some sweatpants. He then crawled into the bed, snuggling up behind me. John placed small kisses on my shoulder, going up my neck until he got to my cheek. 

“I’m sorry.” 

I turned my head back, glancing at him. 

“For what?” 

“I said I wouldn’t let you spend another day in a hospital. I should’ve knocked his fucking lights out the second he walked toward you.” 

I could hear the anger building in his voice, it was rough, and low. 

“It’s okay…” 

I reassured him. He sighed, placing his hand over my shoulder, gently rubbing it. 

“It’s not. I hate seeing you in there… I don’t like it when people touch you.” 

He squeezed my shoulder firmly, not enough to hurt, but enough to keep me in place. John buried his face into my neck, taking heavy breaths.

“He isn’t ever gonna put his hands on you again.” 

John’s voice was low, like a growl. I slowly rolled onto my back, tilting my head to meet his eyes. 

“I trust you.” 

John grinned, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my lips. He held his hand on the side of my face. I could tell he was doing his best to be gentle with me, especially around my face. 

“I don’t know if I can wait until the semester is over… You’re just too damn precious.” 

I let out a short giggle. “Well, we’re going to have to wait.” I jokingly pushed his head back, shuffling onto my side once again. John was quick to snuggle against me once again. 

It wasn’t long before I felt myself going to sleep. 

***

_ It’s back. _

_ I opened my eyes, looking around the room.  _

_ I can’t move, everything looks blurry.  _

_ A figure emerged from the shadows of the room, the light from the moon just barely showing his face.  _

_ Everything was much more vivid than the other times.  _

_ He stared down at me, an incensed look in his eyes.  _

_ Once again I felt that hand around my neck, squeezing tightly. Unlike the other times, I couldn’t reach for my neck, I couldn’t fight. I tried to scream, but nothing was coming out.  _

_ I didn’t last long, everything fading to black.  _

_ The cold I felt throughout my body soon faded, as I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.  _

My eyes opened, meeting John’s frantic gaze. He had rolled me onto my back, and he had turned on the lamp at the bedside table. I drew in a sharp breath, feeling myself begin to tremble. 

John rested his hands on my shoulders, rubbing my arms.

“Hey… Hey. You’re alright. I’m here.” 

He lifted me up, hugging me to him. 

“You were having one of those dreams again. You’ll be okay.” 

John shushed me, rocking me back and forth, holding me against his chest. I lifted my arms, wrapping them around his torso tightly. The pain ripping through my skull was enough to push me to tears. I broke out, quietly sobbing against him. 

He shushed me another time, holding his hand to the back of my head. 

“It’s alright…”

We sat that way for at least half an hour. He didn’t say much, just occasionally kissing the top of my head, telling me I’ll be alright, just rocking me in his arms.

John leaned back, looking down at me.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded, “I- Yes- Yeah…”

John let out a short sigh, rubbing my shoulders for a moment. He shifted beneath me, laying me back down. Getting off of the bed, he stood beside it, staring down at me.

“I’ll go get you some water- An ice pack for your head. Just wait right here.”

I watched as he padded out of the room, eyeing his back as it disappeared into the dark hallway.

Sitting up, I looked around the room. I never took the time to actually see his home. From what the lamp illuminated, his bedroom was pretty expensive. It was a king sized bed, with thick, comfy blankets, and way too many pillows to count. The curtains were dark, and most of them were closed. However, I noticed one of the curtains was pulled to the side, and swaying around ever so slightly.

I slowly stood up from the bed, wincing as I pressed the bottom of my palm to my forehead, just above my eyebrow. The ache was quick, and when it stopped I continued toward the window.

_ It’s open. The window is open. _

I tensed up, freezing in place as I stared at the window. The pain of the window frame had light scratches, but they were new, and just below the latch of the window.

_ Someone was in here. _

I turned on my heel, ready to sprint out of the room, “Joh-”

I shouted to John, but I was cut off when I ended up right in front of him. John almost dropped the glass of water in his hand, gripping my shoulder with the other.

“Hey- Hey. What’s wrong?”

He looked down at me, quickly noticing the panic in my eyes.

“The- The window…”

I could barely get the words out. My entire body was trembling, as I lifted my arm to point to the open window. John noticed it immediately, letting go of me. He set the glass of water down onto the bedside table, along with the ice pack. John shut the window, locking it, and closed the curtains.

He turned back to me, then turning as he opened his closet, grabbing that bag he had brought to my house, throwing some clothes in it.

“Grab your stuff.”

I just stood there, still like a statue. All the times I found a window, or my door unlocked came flooding back into my mind. I could hear every word that had been said in my dreams, the pains I felt, the weak screams.

_ Was it all real? _

_ Am I just being paranoid? _

I was brought out of my trance when John gripped my shoulder, turning me to him.

“Bishop.”

His voice was loud, and quick. He wasn’t yelling, but it was more like he had to say it a few times. I met his gaze, my eyes wide. John brushed the hair out of my face, then placing his hand under my chin, keeping my head up.

“Go get your things.”

His voice was much softer this time.

I nodded slowly, turning as I grabbed my phone and my bag. Gathering my clothes and such, I slipped on my shoes, following John down the stairs. I almost fell down the steps as I let out a yelp, once again pressing my hand to my head. Before I could do anything, I felt John snatch me up off of my feet, hauling me down the stairs. He held me against him, his bag over his shoulder.

When we got outside, his body language changed, his movements now sharp and instinctive. He carefully made his way over to the truck, setting me into the passenger seat. I held his bag and my own, watching as he went around to get into the truck. I couldn’t even get a word out, as he was already peeling out of the driveway and down the street.

“I- Don’t we need to call the cops?”

John shook his head.

“Know a couple people. They’ll deal with this. Shurley was already feeling off about me taking you home, so I don’t need him finding out you were at my house.”

“John- Just drop me at my apartment. Say you came home and the window was-”

“No,” He interrupted, “I just need you to be quiet right now, we’re gonna get you somewhere safe. I’m not about to let that fucker find you.”

_ I paused, getting a chill down my spine. _

_ Why did he realize it before me? _

_ He’s here. _

_ He found me. _

***

John held the door for me, eyeing me as I walked into the hotel room. I lowered my head, pacing over to the bed and dropping my bag down onto it.

The room was pretty large, having a king sized bed, and a decent sized television. It smelled like lavender, and Lysol. 

“I called up the manager- Know him from a while back. Puts out a room for my boys whenever they come into town.” 

John stepped into the room, locking the door behind him. He took a deep breath, keeping his head low. I could see the stress washing over him. Grabbing the remote, I turned on the TV, desperate to break the silence. The channel was the weather, discussing how there’s been a lot of cold fronts happening much earlier than they should. 

“...Do you think it’s going to snow?” 

John lifted his head a bit, glancing over at me. 

“With how cold it is, probably…” 

He dug in his bag, taking out his phone, his charger, and-

_ A gun?  _

I froze when I saw the firearm, staring, clutching my phone in my hand. 

John noticed, lowering it down onto the bed. 

“Hey-” He reached his hand over, placing it on my shoulder, “-I’m not about to let him come near you, even if it means using that.” 

I shifted my eyes from his bag, up to him. 

“I’ll keep it in the drawer. If he comes in here-” John sighed, “-If he comes in here, and I’m not here, I need you to use that.” 

I nodded slowly. 

_ I’d never shot anyone before, nonetheless anyone I knew.  _

John squeezed my shoulder, then going back to unpacking his bag. He was quick to slip the gun into the drawer, knowing it made me uncomfortable. I set my phone on the other bedside table, crawling up onto the bed. Pulling the blankets, I buried myself beneath them, holding a pillow over the top of my head. 

Despite the pillow, I could still hear John let out another sigh. He dropped his bag down onto the floor, kicking off his shoes, and crawling into the bed with me. 

He didn’t get too close, understanding I most likely needed some space for the night. John turned off the lamp, the only light in the room now being the dim ceiling light in the bathroom, peeking through the cracked door. 

Not long afterward, I slipped off to sleep. 

***

*JOHN’S POINT OF VIEW - EARLIER THAT NIGHT*

***

I felt my eyes open, followed by the blankets slightly shifting every couple of seconds. Sitting up, I turned on the lamp, only to see Bishop writhing beneath the covers, small whimpers coming from her. I shifted over, placing my hand over her shoulder, rolling her onto her backside. 

“Hey-” I whispered, “-sweetheart. Wake up…” 

I lightly shook her shoulder, leaning over her. She still didn’t wake, inciting a small panic within me. I shook her shoulder again. 

“Doll?” I raised my voice.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she let out a gasp. I gently rubbed her shoulders, doing my best to calm her. 

“Hey… Hey. You’re alright-” I sighed, “-I’m here.” 

I pulled her up, hugging her to me. 

“You were having one of those dreams again” -I squeezed her to me, sitting up with her in my lap- “You’ll be okay.” 

I shushed her quietly, beginning to rock her back and forth. She was profusely shaking, slowly wrapping her arms around me as well. When she started crying, I couldn’t help but squeeze her tighter. 

“Shh… It’s alright.” 

I ran my fingers into her hair, holding her head to my chest. 

I sat there with her for around half an hour. I kept quiet, knowing her head was aching, and she likely didn’t want to speak very much. The only thing I did in that time was kiss the top of her head, telling her she’ll be alright. 

Eventually, I leaned back, looking down to her. 

“Are you okay?”

“I-” She nodded, “Yes- Yeah…”

I sighed, gently rubbing her shoulders for a moment. Shifting beneath her, I laid her back down, and got up from the bed. 

“I’ll go get you some water- An ice pack for your head. Just wait right here.”

I stared at her for a moment, then making my way out of the room, and down the stairs. My steps were light, as I didn’t want to make too much noise. I got down the stairs, turning into the kitchen. 

Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, I made my way over to the refrigerator, getting water from the door. 

The kitchen was lit up by the oven’s vent light, and the moon shining in through the window. 

Once the glass was full, I set it to the side, grabbing an ice pack from the freezer. Turning to the island counter, I paused, seeing an envelope on the far end of the counter. I put the ice pack beside the glass, lifting up the envelope and tearing it open. 

I reached into it, pulling out some photos. 

My stomach dropped.

The photos were of me and Bishop. The first one was her and I at the grocery store, when I first took her home. The second, us sleeping, taken from at the foot of her bed. 

_ The bastard was right there. _

Another photo was taken through the door of my bedroom, when we slept together that first time. 

Flicking through the several other photos, I found a piece of paper tucked between them. I set the photos down, unfolding the paper. 

_ ‘She’ll be mine again soon.’  _

I could feel the hairs stand on the back of my neck. 

_ She can’t see this. She’ll lose it.  _

Stuffing the photos and the note into the envelope, I slipped them into a drawer, beneath some of the items. I picked up the glass and the ice pack, taking a deep breathe to calm myself down, then marching up the stairs. 

I gently pushed the door open, seeing her standing beside the bed. When I got close, she whipped around, beginning to scream for me. I stopped her, placing my hand on her shoulder, almost dropping the glass of water. 

“Hey- Hey. What’s wrong?” 

I looked down at her face, almost immediately noticing that familiar look of panic in her eyes. 

“The- The window…” 

She could barely speak, her entire body shaking, worse than when I had woken her up. I looked over where she had pointed, spotting the open window. My stomach dropped once again. 

_ I need to stay calm. For her. _

I set the water and the ice pack down, hastily closing and locking the window. Eyeing the chips in the paint, I easily recognized them as that of a knife. 

Standing, I turned to my closet, grabbing my bag. 

“Grab your stuff.” 

After throwing some clothes into my bag, I turned my head, seeing that she was frozen in place, just blankly staring at the window. 

“Hey-” She didn’t move. 

I grabbed her shoulder, turning her to face me. 

“Hey-” I raised my voice, “Bishop.” 

She flinched, looking toward me. I brushed the hair out of her face, lifting her chin to have her meet my gaze. 

“Go get your things.” 

I spoke softer this time, knowing I had to keep her calm. She slowly nodded, turning to grab her belongings. When she had most of her things, I turned, heading out of the room. She followed behind me. 

When we got to the stairs, I heard her let out a cry, turning. I saw her pressing her palm against her head, realizing the stress of the situation wasn’t going to work well with the concussion. 

I took a step up the stairs, pulling my back over my shoulder, then lifting her off of her feet. 

_ I can’t let this bastard get her.  _

Making my way down the stairs, I rushed to the door, now on high alert as I got outside. He could be anywhere. 

I headed to the truck, unlocking it as I placed her in the passenger seat, being careful as to not bump her head on anything. She was still shaking, her face pale, tears in her eyes. I set my bag into her lap, closing the door. 

As I got into the driver's seat, I wasted no time getting out of the driveway, almost speeding down the street. 

“I- Don’t we need to call the cops?” 

I shook my head, “Know a couple people. They’ll deal with this. Shurley was already feeling off about me taking you home, so I don’t need him finding out you were at my house.”

“John- Just drop me at my apartment. Say you came home and the window was-”

I cut her off, “No, I just need you to be quiet right now, we’re gonna get you somewhere safe. I’m not about to let that fucker find you.”

I could see the pure fear wash over her, as she realized exactly what I meant. She froze in the seat, going silent.

_ I’m not about to let him take her from me. He’s not going to touch her ever again.  _


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: John Winchester x Reader  
> Summary: John and Reader are cooped up in a hotel for a few days. John questions why Reader even bothers being around him, and he blames himself for all of the things happening to her since they got together.   
> Word Count: 7030  
> Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Kissing, Older Man/Younger Woman, Inappropriate Teacher/Student Relationship, Language, Infatuation, Trauma/Abuse, Violence, Death, Mentions of Murder, Firearms, Stalking, Smut, Hospitals  
> A/N: If you thought the last episode was stressful, I hope you have your shitting pants on, because you are about to shit your pants. (I also didn’t put any gifs in this one-)

_ The next two days went by excruciatingly slow.  _

John still had to go to work, but each time he was heavily reluctant about leaving me alone. However, we both knew that he couldn’t be gone at the same time as me, especially after the incident with Lucas. President Shurley already felt odd about John offering to take me home, so it would only add to that suspicion. 

Whenever I wanted something to eat, John would leave me in the room and go get it himself, or he would order takeout and pick it up in the lobby. He was anxious about the person bringing the delivery to the room, as he didn’t want them to know what room we were in. 

It felt horrible, being so isolated, but I knew it was for the best. 

He wasn’t letting me leave the room, at all. The only time he did was the night after we arrived, to take me to get some ice from the machine down the hall. Afterward, he took me directly back to the hotel room. When he got back from work, he’d check up on me, making sure everything was alright, then we’d get dinner and watch movies until I fell asleep again. 

Concerning my work, Wallace was  _ very _ understanding about what had happened with Lucas. He told me to take the time I needed to get better. Due to how well business was doing with the holidays coming up, he was making enough money to let me take the time off. Even then, I never took very many days off, so I had plenty of little vacation days racked up. 

By the time I woke up, John was getting back from work. As he pushed the door open, I sat up in bed, rubbing my eye. I winced, as I forgot about the bruising. The noise caused John to turn and hastily walk out of the short hallway from the bathroom and the door. 

“Are you alright?” 

I nodded, “Just the bruises…” 

He paced over, dropping his keys on the bedside table. 

“Let me get a look at you.” 

John sat on the edge of the bed beside me, reaching up as he carefully pushed the hair back from my face. I remained still, not wanting to disrupt him. He slowly peeled the small bandage from my eyebrow, checking on the split. 

“Gonna have to clean it again… Did you sleep alright?” 

I shook my head. John sighed, patting my shoulder as he stood.

“If I could stop those nightmares I would. I’m sorry, Doll.” 

“I know.” 

I smiled at him, rubbing my eye again, this time being wary of the bruising. John walked over to the dresser, digging in his bag that rested on top of it. He fished out the small first aid kit, then zipping the bag back up. Pacing over, he took a seat on the bed again, opening the plastic container. 

“It’s gon-” 

“It’ll sting. I know…” 

I sighed, resting my hands in my lap. John took out one of the small disinfectant wipes, pulling it out of the packaging. He hesitantly pressed it to the cut, inciting a wince out of me. 

“It’s hurting less?” 

I nodded to him. 

“That’s good… Means it’s healing.” 

He wiped it clean, finishing up. After he pressed another bandage over it, he leaned in, kissing my forehead. 

“How are the headaches?” 

“They come and go… They’re not as bad, though.” 

He pushed my hair from my face again, pressing his forehead to mine. I watched a smile stretch across his face as he met my eyes. I returned the smile, watching as he leaned in, gently kissing me. As always, he was careful, acting as if my skin was paper. He rested his hand on my shoulder, the other to the side of my face. 

“…You’re beautiful.” He muttered.

“…You always say that…” 

“I know.” John leaned in again, this time going further, pushing me to lay back down on the bed. I did just that, letting myself fall back against the pillows. He shifted his weight, pulling the blankets off of me. I flinched, bracing the cold air of the room. 

“John-” 

“What is it?” 

“Come on-” I let out a short laugh, “I haven’t showered yet.” 

“I don’t care-” He huffed, leaning in to kiss me again. I reached up, pressing my thumb to his lips. 

“Well I do. You’re gonna have to wait.” 

I pressed my hand to his chest, pushing him to sit beside me on the bed. He pouted, but still had that playful smirk on his face. 

“Hurry up, otherwise I’ll join you in there.” 

“Ha-Ha very funny.” 

I turned, heading into the bathroom. It was spacious, the shower was a walk in with glass walls, and a rain showerhead going straight down. Closing the door behind me, I peeled off my clothes, opening the door and stepping into the shower, turning on the water. The heat was relieving. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back a bit, letting the water run down my face. 

Not long after, I heard the shower door open. Before I could turn around, I found myself being lifted up by my hips. 

“Wha-” 

“Shh… It’s just me.” 

John’s voice came from behind me, silencing the anxiety I felt. He slowly turned me around, holding me up by my thighs. 

“You scared me-” 

John didn’t say anything. He just pressed my back against the cold tile wall. Leaning in, he began kissing me heavily, thought still being careful of my bruises. I returned them just as eagerly. The both of us were breathing heavily, the water running between us. 

I ran my hands over his shoulders, lightly digging my nails into the skin of his back. He shifted his head, nipping at my neck. I panted, leaning my head back against the wall. John dug his fingers into my skin. He slid me down carefully, sinking himself into me. I bucked my hips, leaning forward, resting my head on his shoulder. 

“Fuck…” 

He chuckled, “That’s the plan.” 

I smiled, “I hope so.” 

I hooked my legs around his waist, lifting one of my hands up, lacing my fingers into his hair. He slowly started to thrust up into me, letting out quiet groans. My nails dragged up his shoulder, my other hand gripping his hair. 

John gradually sped up, squeezing my thighs as I couldn’t help but moan. He kept up his pace for around a minute, until he felt my legs beginning to tremble. Bringing his hand up, he pushed it against my shoulder, just at the curve of my neck. He leaned in, pressing his lips to mine as he eagerly kissed me, nipping at my bottom lip. 

“Fuck- John…!” 

I groaned, gasping between kisses. Hearing his name only incited him to to bring up his pace, pressing me into the wall. I could feel the heat rising in my core, my legs beginning to tremble. My nails dug into his back, leaving various red lines over his tanned skin. John slid his hand down, cupping my breast. I could hear his breathing grow faster, and heavier. He tilted his head, returning to my neck. I felt his teeth graze over my skin as he left plenty of marks over my neck and shoulder. 

With each kiss he placed, he only went faster. Before long, he was at an unforgiving pace, slamming into me, reaching that little spot that couldn’t quite be reached. I dug my nails into him, coming close to breaking skin. By now I was almost screaming, and he couldn’t help but groan with each thrust. 

“John- Fucking- John!” 

I shouted, tilting my head back as I peaked, tugging his hair, my other arm looping around the back of his neck and hugging him against me. He pushed me firmly against the wall, emptying himself into me, letting out a low groan, almost a growl.

We stayed that way for a good minute, both of us catching our breaths, coming down from the erotic high. 

“...Are you-” He huffed, “Are you alright?” 

I gave a slight nod, “Yeah… Yeah- I’m fine…” 

John took a step back, carefully lowering me, making sure I was steady on my feet before letting me go. My legs were weak, slightly trembling, but I was able to stand. He leaned down, kissing my forehead, cupping my face in his hands as he looked down at me, meeting my gaze. 

“You did great.” He grinned. 

The approval brought a smile to my face, the butterflies in my stomach going insane. 

“Get yourself cleaned up.” 

John pushed my hair back, then stepping out of the shower, grabbing a towel to dry himself off. I eyed him for a moment, eventually turning back, grabbing my shampoo and beginning to wash my hair. 

***

I stepped out of the bathroom, wearing one of John’s t-shirts along with a pair of my sweatpants. Tossing my old clothes into the bin, I turned the corner, spotting John sprawled out on the bed. He was just wearing his jeans, his button-up shirt left open. 

“Just breathing then, huh?” 

He nodded, “After that rodeo, I definitely need a breather.” 

John chuckled, pushing himself to sit up, patting the bed beside him. I paced over, crawling up onto the bed beside him. He reached forward, pulling me into a hug as he rolled onto his side, holding me tightly against him. I wrapped my arms around him as well, smiling up at him. 

“So what movie are we watching today?” 

He shook his head, “Not gonna watch a movie… I just want to hold you.” 

John kissed the top of my head, squeezing his arms around me. He shifted, pulling the blankets over the both of us. 

“Did you have a bad day at work?”

I tilted my head back, meeting his eyes. He nodded to me, sighing as he pushed my head back into his chest, placing his chin on top of my head. 

“Shurley couldn’t expel Lucas.” 

I flinched, “ _ He what?”  _

“His parents have a lot of money- Threatened some shit to the university. They came to an agreement.”

“What  _ agreement _ is worth me having a concussion and getting harassed?” 

“He gets suspended for the next two weeks, and he has to attend anger management.” 

“That’s bullshit-” 

John pushed my face back into his chest, squeezing me again. 

“I know. I tried to talk him out of it- but we didn’t get much of a say.” 

I kept quiet, relaxing in his arms, closing my eyes as I snuggled close to him. John pulled me over, laying on his back, having me halfway on top of him, resting on his chest. I glanced up at him, a worried look washing over my face as I watched him stare up at the ceiling, his eyes glazed over as if he was going to cry. 

“That’s not everything that’s wrong, is it?” 

He sighed, lifting a hand, holding it over his eyes for a moment. 

“You don’t deserve any of this shit. I’m sorry-” 

“What do you mean?” 

“All of this. The hospitals, Lucas- Staying all cooped up in this hotel.” 

“John- John, none of that is your fault.” 

“It is my fault. I should’ve got him out of that classroom the second he walked in. I should’ve taken you to the cops when you said your door was unlocked. I-” 

“Stop.” I pressed my hand to his mouth. 

He pulled his hand from his eyes, slowly sitting up against the headboard. I shifted, sitting right beside him, not breaking eye contact. 

“None of this is your fault. Lucas has issues- You already know how my immune system works, and there’s not much you can do about the door. You already told Mills about the door, and the window. She’s looking into it, right?” 

He nodded. 

“That’s good enough for me.” 

“I don’t want to be  _ good enough.  _ You deserve so much more than  _ good enough. _ ”

I sighed, “That’s not what I meant.” 

“Why do you bother with me? I’m twice your age. You could go get some guy  _ your  _ age, who can go out and party with you, give you everything you want.” 

“I- John-” 

“No. You shouldn-” 

I leaned in, my hands grasping the sides of his head as I kissed him. He silenced himself, hesitantly placing his hands on my hips. I eventually pulled away, but not anymore than two inches from his face. 

“ _ You _ already give me everything I want. When I blacked out in my hallway, I thought I was going to die. I thought I wasn’t going to wake up. When I did, I was scared- and-” I sighed, “-I was alone, and then- then you were there. You took me home. You made me dinner. You made me feel like I’m worthy of being  _ alive.”  _

John just stared at me, in silence, absorbing everything I was telling him. 

“I… I don’t know where I would be if you didn’t come to that hospital.” 

John lifted his hand, pushing my damp hair out of my face. 

“...I love you.” His voice cracked. 

I paused, staring at him. My lips slightly parted, but nothing came out, I just stared blankly. I could see the pain in his eyes when I didn’t say anything. 

“I- I love you too.” 

A gentle smile spread over my face. John lifted his head, his pained expression turning into that of a pure, happy one, like he’d found peace. He wrapped his arms around my torso, pulling me in close to him, hugging me tightly. 

“You’re beautiful.” 

“Oh- shut it.” I giggled. 

“Never.” He chuckled, nestling his head into my shoulder. 

“It’s October.” 

“What about it?” I tilted my head.

“Two months.” He leaned back, meeting my eyes. I furrowed my brow, not quite understanding. 

“Two months until I can tell the world you’re mine.” 

A big, giddy grin spread over his face. When I realized the semester would be over by December, I wouldn’t be his student anymore, and we could come out. I matched his grin immediately, wrapping my arms over the back of his neck, hugging him to me. 

“I- I didn’t even think of that!” 

“What? You just think we’d be all secretive forever?” 

“No… I just- I never thought that far into the future.” 

John picked me up, shifting so we were laying down again, our heads on the pillows. He kept one arm around me, holding me against him. The other reached over to grab the TV remote. He flipped through, eventually finding a movie we could watch. 

“I thought you said no movie for today?” 

John got a sinister, but playful look on his face. 

“Oh- We’re not going to be watching it. I just need some background noise so the neighbors don’t hear you.” 

I glanced up at him, confused. My questions were quickly answered as he rolled over on top of me, pressing my hands into the bed, looking down at me with a primal look in his eyes. 

John leaned down, whispering into my ear, his breath hot against my skin. 

“You look so cute when you realize what I’m going to do to you.” 

***

My eyes fluttered open, squinting at the sunlight peeking in through the curtains. Despite the bright sun shining in, I could see a red blur on the bedside table. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes, letting them adjust to the light. When I looked back at the table, there was a small bouquet of six or seven roses, accompanied by a candy bar, some aspirin, and a note. 

I turned my head, seeing that John was no longer in the room. Reaching over, I picked up the note, unfolding the paper. 

_ ‘You may want to take some aspirin. I would have stayed to make sure you were alright, but I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll be back soon. -John’ _

I smiled as I read the note. When I shifted to get up out of the bed, I let out a groan, grabbing my leg. The majority of my body was aching and sore. John had managed to go at it for hours the night before, never seeming to get tired. He only stopped because he could tell I was becoming exhausted. 

Reaching out, I grabbed the bottle, taking two of the aspirin. Pushing myself off of the bed, I winced, feeling the strain in my legs and my core. I pushed through it, heading to the bathroom. 

After a quick shower, I padded over to the counter, leaning on it, staring at myself in the mirror. There were little purple marks all over my torso, the majority of them being on my chest and my neck. I took a deep breath, checking myself over. From what I could see, the majority of the marks were around my chest, my shoulders, the lower half of my neck, and my upper thighs. 

_ Jesus… He really went all out.  _

I pushed my hair out of my face, grabbing a towel and beginning to dry myself off. When I was finished, I pulled on some leggings, and another one of John’s t-shirts. His clothes were always so comfortable, and warm. I stepped out of the bathroom, dropping my dirty clothes into the bin with the others. By now, John was going to be back within the next hour or two. When I walked off from the basket, I heard the lock to the door click. 

“John?” I called out, walking towards the door. 

I reached out, unlocking the door, pulling it open. 

“You’re back ear-” 

I felt my entire body freeze up, meeting the eyes of the man at the door. 

_ That’s not John.  _

***

*JOHN’S POV - EARLIER THAT MORNING* 

***

I pushed open the door, stepping into the room, carting a grocery bag. The air in the room was cold, since we always kept the air conditioner running. I paced over toward the bed, a smile stretching over my face as I saw her balled up, halfway beneath the blankets. Reaching into the bag, I set the few items on the bedside table, grabbing a piece of paper from the small notepad, writing out a short note for when she woke up. 

Leaning in, I lightly kissed her forehead, then reaching to pull the blankets over her. 

“I’ll see you later.” 

I grinned, lightly patting her leg as I stood up, making my way out of the room, being sure to lock it. 

***

When I finished up with the classes, I drove over to the police department, heading to Mill’s office. Lightly knocking at the door, she turned to face me. 

“Winchester.” Jody grinned. 

“Hey- Jody.” 

“Assuming you’re here for an update?” 

I nodded, “She’s getting cabin fever. Hasn’t left that hotel in days.” 

“At least she’s safe there. I checked over her apartment. There’s some fingerprints around the apartment. 

“Where is ‘ _ around?”  _

“Well- It’s everywhere. Yours aren’t in there too much, hers are everywhere, but there’s some prints we can’t get any hits from  _ everywhere. _ They’re all over the apartment. Does she live with anyone else?” 

“No- No, she lives alone.” 

“Then whoever you’re worried about has been in there, often.” 

I sighed, lowering my head, pushing my hair back. 

“I- Have you only checked state records for the prints?” 

“No- I put it national, since you said she moved from out of state. Nothing.” 

I walked over, taking a seat in one of the chairs opposite of her desk. 

“John- Can I just ask-” Jody leaned forward, placing her elbows on the desk, “How’d you even get wrapped up with this girl? She’s just your student.” 

“I-” I paused, leaning back in the chair. “I’m not too sure, Jody. I ask myself that a lot. I took her home and- and it just happened. It clicked.” 

“I can get behind that… Well- I hope it goes well. You look happier than I’ve seen you in  _ years.”  _

Jody smiled at me, then flipping through some files. 

“One thing I can give you though- The prints from her apartment, your window, and those photos you gave me are all from the same person.” 

I nodded, “Alright- Uh… Thank you, Jody.” 

She nodded in return, holding her hand out. I stood from the chair, reaching my hand out and shaking hers. 

“Let me know if you get anything, Jody.” 

“Will do. It’s good to see you again, Winchester.” 

I turned on my heel, making my way out of her office, and out to my truck. When I got out to it, I noticed another envelope tucked under my windshield wiper. My stomach dropped as I reached up, grabbing the envelope and tearing it open. I pulled a single photo from it. The photo was taken at the front doors to the hotel. I turned it over, seeing the writing on the back. 

_ ‘You’re not very good at hiding.’ _

Turning around, I sprinted back into the building. Some of the other officers watched me, a bit shocked to see someone dart into the office. I swung the door to Jody’s office open, to which she stood up. Before she could get a word out, I set the photo on her desk. 

“That son of a bitch knows where she is.” 

Jody didn’t hesitate to call two other officers with her, the four of us getting into our vehicles. I peeled out of the parking lot, Jody driving in front, the other two squad cars behind me, lights flashing. 

Thanks to the officers, the drive over was quick, and went smoothly. We hopped out of our cars, heading into the hotel. 

Once we arrived on the floor, they pulled their guns from the holsters, keeping them trained in front of them. Jody and another officer were in the front, and the other officer was behind me, keeping an eye out behind us. Arriving at the door, I unlocked it, stepping back so Jody and the other officer could clear the room. 

“Clear.” Jody called out, holstering her gun. 

I felt every hair on my body stand, my heart pounding. 

“Hey- John-” Jody stepped out in front of me, grabbing my arms, “John. Look at me. I need you to think of where she would be. Where would he take her?” 

My hands were shaking, everything was shaking. 

“I- I don’t know.” I looked over toward the room, my stomach knotting and twisting as I saw the chair knocked over. The gun I had left in the drawer was on the floor beside the table. 

_ She didn’t stand a chance.  _

Jody lightly shook me, “Winchester. Look at me. Don’t look at that.” 

I turned back to her, taking a deep breath. 

“I- I’m not sure. Her apartment?” 

Jody nodded, “I’ll call the station and put out an APB. You get in your car, you tell Hitchens the address. I’ll follow.” 

I nodded slowly, heading out with officer Hitchens. The other officer stayed at the door, speaking into his radio. Jody followed behind us, talking into her radio as well, describing Bishop for the APB. When we got outside, Jody stood beside my truck. 

“I left Floyd up there to call in the crime scene, but- John, we’re going to find her. Alright?” 

I took a breath, nodding to her. 

“I hope so.” 

Jody jogged over to her car, climbing in as she turned on her sirens. Hitchens did as well. We all pulled out of the parking lot, heading toward her apartment building. 

***

Jody and Hitchens repeated the actions at the hotel, keeping their guns trained into the hallway. When we arrived at her apartment, Jody and Hitchens entered, searching around. 

“She’s not here.” Hitchens called out. 

I stepped out into the hall, looking both ways. 

“Just- Check the windows.” I huffed, pushing open the door to the stairwell. As I stepped in, I spotted her neighbor, Miss Hanes. She grinned as she saw me, holding her mail in her hands. 

“Oh- Hello John.” She made her way up the steps, stopping beside me. 

“If you’re looking for Miss Bishop, I saw her going up the stairs with her little friend.” 

I froze, “Wait- What friend?” 

The elderly woman turned her head to me, holding the door. 

“I think she said his name was Aaron? They were in a hurry, didn’t say much to me.” 

She turned back to the hall, heading back to her apartment. I felt my heart pounding once again. Without a second thought, I darted up the stairs, gripping the rail to swing myself around each corner. Once I got at least three flight ups, I heard a shot go off. My body grew tense as I ran faster. I could hear Jody calling in the shots fired. 

***

*YOUR POV - AFTER OPENING THE DOOR* 

***

I took a few steps back, my heart racing as I eyed the man at the door. The disheveled blonde hair, those dark, empty eyes. He raised his hand, fixating a pistol toward my face. I backed up, gripping the wooden chair to my left, throwing it to him. Stumbling back, I yanked open the drawer to the nightstand, grabbing the gun John had left there. By the time I pulled it out, I felt a sharp pain in my left side. Aaron pulled the gun from my hands, tossing it onto the floor. He gripped my arm, dragging me. 

“I- Let go of me!” I cried out.

Aaron swung my arm, smashing me into the wall. I gasped, coughing as he began kicking me. He swung his leg, his foot meeting my ribs. I cried out, falling onto my side. 

“You thought you could hide from  _ me?”  _

I tried to crawl, only for him to slam his foot down onto my wrist. I felt a sharp pain shoot through my arm. It didn’t feel broken, but it certainly hurt. He slammed his foot into my ribs another time. Again. Again, this time against my hip. 

“Stop it-” I coughed, gasping for air. 

“We’re going to take a little trip. Gonna show you how shit of a job you did trying to hide.” 

He pulled me up to my feet, pushing the gun into my back, pushing me to walk. Aaron walked me to the elevator, being sure to bring me out of a side door to avoid anyone in the lobby seeing us. When we got outside, he walked me over to his car, shoving me into the passenger seat. I looked to the lock, only to see he’d pulled out the lock and the door handle on the inside. 

He climbed into the car, keeping the gun in his lap, pulling out of the hotel parking lot. 

***

My stomach was churning, an ache filling my entire body from all of the hits I had taken. I was sure he’d broken a rib or two. He knew just how to do it, never going for my face. Only the places clothing could hide. As the car pulled up to my building, I felt my body tense up. 

“What- What are we doing here-” 

He pressed his gun to my temple, shouting at me, “Shut your fucking mouth! I didn’t say you could talk.” 

I gasped, closing my eyes tightly. 

Aaron stood from the car, walking around the front and opening my door. He gripped my arm, pulling me up out of the car. He had stuffed the gun into his jacket pocket, but kept it fixed on me. 

“Walk.” 

I couldn’t help but tremble the entire way up the stairs. The both of us froze when I saw Miss Hanes coming down the stairs. I felt the gun press to my back, but he didn’t move. 

“H-Hey Miss Hanes…” 

“Hello, dear! It’s been a while since you’ve been home. I’ve been picking up your mail for you, like you asked.” 

I smiled at her, “I- Thank you, Barbara.” 

She nodded, “Who’s your little friend?” 

“I uh- This- This is Aaron. He’s in my history class…” 

“That’s nice! It’s been a while since you’ve had any friends over.” 

My body tensed up again as I felt him push the gun into my skin. 

“Well- We have to get going… I’ll see you later, Miss Hanes.” 

I gave her my best smile as she nodded to me, heading down the stairs. Aaron flashed her a smile as if nothing was wrong, then guiding me up the stairs. When I reached for the door handle to the hallway, he yanked my arm, pulling me to the side.

“Not there. Keep going up.” 

The rest of the way up was gut wrenching. Whenever I slowed down, he’d shove me just enough that I’d keep going, but not enough to knock me down. I was sure he had injured my wrist, as it was difficult to get a grip on the railing. Adrenaline was the only thing helping me ignore it. 

When we got to the top of the stairs, he pushed the door open, shoving me outside. The cold wind blowing over the roof of the building was chilling. 

Aaron removed the gun from his jacket, aiming it toward my head. 

“Go to the edge.” 

“I- What…?” 

“The edge. Now.” 

I reluctantly turned my back to him, beginning to walk toward the edge of the building. Each step felt like I had weights around my ankles. I could hear my heart pounding, along with his footsteps as he followed behind me. When I got at least five or so feet from the edge, I stopped. 

Aaron scoffed, “Jump.” 

I flinched, turning my head back to face him.

“...What?” 

“I said jump.” 

“I- No! What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“No!” He screamed at me. I could see his hands shaking. “What is wrong with  _ you?! You  _ are the one who left  _ me.”  _

“I-” 

“Look at that city! You thought you could hide  _ here? Here?!  _ You knew it wouldn’t be long before I found you. Changing your name doesn’t do shit.” 

“It kept you away for a year-” 

“One year too fucking many!” 

He took a step closer, keeping the gun fixated on me. 

“Aaron-” 

He cut me off, “I gave you everything. A place to live, I put foot on the table- but that wasn’t good enough. You had to run away and leave me behind.” 

“Because you were fucking insane- You- You  _ beat  _ me. Every day.” 

“Look- I- I just get angry- and you kept screwing things up. You kept telling you parents all this  _ bullshit _ about me!” 

“And they were right. You’re full of shit!” My voice cracked. I could feel my legs shaking. The wind only continued to blow against me, my hair in my face. 

“That’s why they had to go! They didn’t see that I was right for you.” 

My heart sank, and I could feel all of the blood drain from my face. Everything around me began to sink in. The sounds of cars and people down below grew silent, a ringing growing louder in my ears as I felt the burning anger growing within me. 

_ He’s the one who took them from me.  _

“What…?” 

“That’s right. They didn’t think I was good enough for you. So- So they had to go.” 

His hands were shaking, he was getting antsy. 

“E-Enough talking! Just fucking jump off!” 

When I didn’t move, he took a step forward. I heard the gun go off, a sharp pain in my right side. I froze, gasping as I almost keeled over. 

He whipped around, hearing the heavy metal door to the roof open. Aaron grunted as he saw him, stepping toward me as he grabbed me by my hair. He pulled me in front of him, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to keep me in place. 

“Go back inside!” He screamed at John.

“Not a chance, you piece of shit-” 

Aaron pressed the gun to my temple. I could hear his breathing grow heavy, his heart racing. My vision was blurry, a ringing in my ears.

“Leave or- or I’ll kill her!” 

John raised his hands defensively. 

“You let her go. There’s cops downstairs, and they’re going to be up here  _ real _ soon.” John slowly began to take steps toward us, keeping his hands level. 

Aaron shifted, training the gun on John. 

“I- I said stop!” He shouted, his voice cracking. 

Despite the growing pain in my side, I took my chance, lowering my head as I buried my teeth into his hand. Aaron screamed, pulling his hand back as he staggered. John caught on, sprinting forward as he tackled Aaron. I stumbled off to the side, losing my footing. I yelped as my back hit the concrete of the roof, knocking the wind out of me. 

Sitting up, I saw John wrestling with Aaron. I turned my head, seeing two people come out of the door. It was Sheriff Mills. I’d seen her around campus a few times, but I didn’t know the other officer. Before they could get close, a shot went off. 

I whipped my head around, seeing both John and Aaron laying limp. 

“John!” I cried out, pushing myself up, running over. 

Just as I got beside the two of them, John pushed himself up, panting. He had blood splattered on his face. Aaron laid there, limp, a bullet wound in his jaw. Turning his head, he grabbed my shoulder, pulling me to him, hugging me tightly in his arms. The both of us were shaking. I let out a gasp, which was followed up by sobbing. 

I broke down, barely able to stand. John dropped as well, sitting on the pavement of the roof. He didn’t dare to let go of me, keeping me against him, rocking back and forth. 

Jody and the other officer were quick to pull the gun from Aaron’s hand, checking him over. She spoke into her radio, but I was too out of it to hear what she had said. The other officer with her made his way over, crouching beside us. I could only hear mumbling, as everything else had tuned out. 

John leaned back, looking down at me with a tearful smile. I met his eyes, but I couldn’t bring myself to smile back at him. He froze as he noticed the blood on my hands. I could hear the muffled yells coming from him. He shifted, lying me on my back, looking down at me. From all of the noises I heard, I could just barely make out him calling my name. I felt his hands on my face, making me look at him. When I didn’t respond, he shouted at the officer. John pulled off his jacket, pressing it to my side, saying things that I still couldn’t make out. The only thing I could hear was the sound of sirens in the background.

Before long, I looked up toward the clouded sky, watching as it faded to black. 

***

My eyes peeled open, feeling heavy, and weak. The bright ceiling lights shined in, taking a few seconds for my eyes to focus on them. I heard a faint beeping in the background, which was gradually growing louder. Lifting my head, I looked around the room. It was clear I was in the hospital again. The lights in the room were off, apart from the one in the bathroom, only letting in a small bit of light. 

I shifted, gasping as I felt a dull pain in my side. Shortly after, I heard some rustling from the other side of the room. I tilted my head, looking toward the sound. John was now at the side of the bed, leaning down. He had his hand on the railing, the other gripping my hand. 

Everything felt heavy, and the bit of light from the bathroom was irritating. 

“John…?” I mumbled.

“Yeah- Yeah, doll, it’s me. I’m here.” 

He rubbed my hand, his other reaching up to grab my chin, lifting my head to make me meet his gaze. I blinked a few times, trying to let my eyes adjust. 

John shifted, reaching back and grabbing a water bottle. He opened it, holding it to my lip. 

“Need you to drink.” 

I tilted my head back a bit, to which he tilted the bottle. After a few seconds he pulled it away, closing it and putting it back on the table. 

“You’ve been out for about a day… Are you okay? Does anything hurt?” 

I nodded slowly, gritting my teeth as I tried to sit up. John reached forward, putting his arms around me, helping me to sit up. 

“Be careful- Don’t pull your stitches.” 

He held me up, using the remote to get the bed to shift so I could sit up. After he got it positioned, he let me lean back against it, making sure I was comfortable. 

“What happened…?” 

“I- Well- He shot you. Doc said it didn’t go too far in, so they were able to get it out, but he said you lost a lot of blood.” 

I nodded, closing my eyes for a moment as I leaned my head back against my pillow. 

“They got you on some stuff for the pain, so it should at least help. If you need anything at all- Just tell me.” 

He picked up my hand again, this time with both of his hands, squeezing it gently. John lifted it, kissing the backside of my hand. I tilted my head to the side, smiling at him. 

“Thank you.” 

John grinned at me, then pulling up a chair, sitting beside the bed. 

“Where’s Aaron…?” 

He lost his smile, sighing at the mention of him. 

“Well- Jody is doing what she can to keep it under wraps. So far, one of your ‘neighbors’ saw him with a gun, called the cops, and went to the roof. She said that since Hitchens and her saw it, that it was an open and shut case.” 

I let out a sigh of relief, weakly squeezing his hand in return. 

“And President Shurley?” 

“He doesn’t know a thing. I’m going to act like I had nothing to do with it, Mills is gonna go with the neighbor story.” 

I took a deep breath, squeezing his hand again. 

“Lay with me.” 

He paused, looking up at me. 

“Get up here.” 

John didn’t respond. He let go of my hand, standing and pushing the chair to the side. Reaching over, he wrapped his arm around my again, his other going beneath my legs, shifting me over to the side. John kicked off his shoes, then carefully climbing up onto the hospital bed, laying on his side right next to me. I grinned, holding his hand as he cuddled me, being mindful of my stitches. 

He slipped his arm behind my head, holding me against his chest. John kissed my forehead, squeezing my hand. 

“I’m sorry.” 

His voice cracked, I could tell he was about to cry. 

“Why…?” 

“I should’ve been there for you. I- He left pictures of us in my kitchen, and I didn’t say anything. I should’ve told you.” 

He drew in a sharp breath, letting go of my hand. John lifted his arm, wrapping it around me, pulling me close. He was careful as to not move me too much. 

“I should have been in that room, not at work.” 

“John- John, you couldn't have known he was going to find me…” 

“I-” 

“No. It’s okay.” 

I reached up, pushing my hand against his chest to have him lean back. Tilting my head back, I looked up at him, meeting his eyes. 

“You still got there. You  _ still  _ found me.  _ You  _ saved me.” 

I brushed my hand over the side of his face. He gave me a teary smile, his breath shaky. I leaned in, kissing him for a short moment. He wrapped his arms around me again, letting me rest my head over his chest. John gently rubbed my shoulder, taking a breath. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

I felt a smile spread across my face. John squeezed my shoulder for a moment, tilting his head to look down at me. 

“Do you want to watch anything? Are you hungry?” 

“Yes- and I’m starving.” 

We both let out a slight chuckle. John reached over, grabbing the remote as he turned on the television. He shifted, getting out of the bed. 

“I’ll go let the nurses know, gotta tell them you’re awake now, too.” 

I nodded to him, “Don’t take too long,  _ please.”  _

He smiled at me. I could see his heart break to leave me, even if it was just for a moment. I knew he hated seeing me in the hospital again, and he was trying his best to hide it. 

It wasn’t anymore than five minutes before John came back, holding a tray with some food. A nurse walked in behind him, beginning to check me over. 

The nurse wasn’t in there too long. She checked my stitches, re-applied the bandage, and asked me a few routine questions. As soon as she was gone, John shimmied right back into the bed, setting the tray in my lap. It was a chicken sandwich with some fries and green beans. 

“They didn’t have much available since it’s so late.” 

I shrugged, “It’s fine- Anything is good at this point.” I chuckled. 

John laughed as well, eating one of the fries. He picked up another one, feeding them to me. 

“You don’t have to feed me.” 

He shrugged, giving me a sarcastic smirk. 

“But I want to.” We both let out a short laugh. 

By the time I got done with my food, I was already falling asleep again. John was exhausted as well. I could tell he hadn’t slept since I got here. He set the tray on the table to the side, then shifting so we were both under the blanket. John kissed my forehead, turned off the television, and snuggled himself up next to me again. I buried my head into his chest, inevitably falling asleep. 

_ I’m finally safe, and he’s here with me.  _


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John asks Bishop an important question. Bishop is readjusting into her life, and trying to move on from the recent stressful events. Everything finally seems to be calming down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 6678
> 
> Warnings: Angst - Alcohol/Drinking - Older Man/Younger Woman - Inappropriate Teacher/Student Relationship - Mild Language - Infatuation - Trauma/Abuse/Violence/Death(Mentions/Memories/Nightmares) - Mentions of Hospitals - Smut

For the next week, I remained in the hospital. 

Despite the wound not being too severe, it was still going to take me some time to recover. John continued going to work, coming back to the hospital each day to visit me. After the first few nights, he stayed in the bed with me, but I ended up telling him to go back home to sleep. He was reluctant to leave me alone at first, but he eventually gave in. 

Charlie and Wallace had come to visit me a few times, which resulted in a few close calls. John easily slipped out of the room to avoid being seen. 

My other professors were given word on the situation, and they gave me extra time on my assignments. John had grabbed my laptop from my apartment so I could get the work done. 

After the first week had ended, the doctor felt I was well enough to leave. John refused to let me go back to my apartment. He brought me back just to grab some of my clothes and anything else I needed, then got me situated at his house. 

Each day, at some point, John made it a priority to keep me comfortable and entertained. Although, I couldn’t help but notice that with each day, the stress washing over him was beginning to show. John wouldn’t look at me. He’d help me to move around, or if I needed to change my bandages, make sure I took my medication, but he was still growing distant. 

***

I lifted my head as I heard the door to the bedroom opening. John was carrying a plate with a sandwich, along with a glass of ice water. When he spoke, he didn’t look me in the eye. 

“Did you take your medicine yet?” 

I nodded my head. 

He sighed, carting the plate over and setting it on the nightstand. 

“Alright… ” 

John stood beside the bed for a moment, not moving. I tilted my head up, leaning forward in an effort to get him to look at me. 

“John?” I cooed. 

He shifted, meeting my eyes for the first time in days. 

“I- Yes?” 

“Did-” I pushed my hair from my face, “Did I do something wrong?” 

I could see that same look of guilt he’d had these past couple of weeks flood him. He took a seat on the edge of the bed just beside my legs, hesitantly placing his hand on my knee. 

“I- No- No, you haven’t. Why do you think that?” 

I was able to feel his hand tense up just before he pulled it away from my leg, resting it in his lap. 

“That.” I gestured to his hand, “That. Right there.” 

He balled his hand into a fist, but he remained silent. 

“You won’t look at me… You barely speak to me.” 

John opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. 

“What did I do? We were just fine in the hospital- I- You stayed in bed with me, you brought me to your house. What happened?” 

He lowered his head, looking down toward the floor. 

“It’s my fault.” 

“John- John, we’ve been over this. You couldn’t-” 

“No- No. It is. Stop telling me it isn’t.” He stood from the bed, taking a step back. “I should’ve been there.” 

I pushed myself up from the bed, resulting in him taking a few steps back. His breathing was shallow but erratic. Each time he took a step back, I took one forward, up until he was to the wall. Reaching forward, I gripped his hand, squeezing it. He drew in a sharp breath as soon as I touched him. 

“John…” I sighed, looking up to meet his eyes. “I know that’s not it. You’re just repeating yourself… What’s wrong?” 

He squeezed my hands, tears in his eyes. 

“I wasn’t there for her.” 

“...Mary?” 

John nodded. 

“When she died-” He gasped, his hand getting shaky. “-I wasn’t there. We were arguing- and- and I-” 

I pulled him over, having him take a seat on the bed. He was trying his best not to cry. I didn’t let go of his hand, sitting down beside him. 

“I left and went down the street to a bar. Spent the next couple of hours drinking…” John ran his hand over his face, looking off to the side. “I got a phone call, they told me she was gone.” 

I felt my heart sink, my face growing cold. 

“John…” 

He squeezed my hand another time, lowering his head and closing his eyes. Leaning over, I squeezed his arm tightly, resting my head on his shoulder. I wasn’t sure what to say to him, so I did my best to comfort him. John’s hands were shaking as he held mine. I placed my other hand over his, trying to steady him. 

“I wasn’t there when she died… I wasn’t there when you got taken. I needed to be there for you.” 

I reached over, my hand lightly pressing to his jaw as I tilted his head to get him to meet my gaze. 

“You were there for me. You’re here for me  _ right now. _ If you didn’t find me, I… He was going to kill me, John. I wouldn’t be here.” 

He remained silent, just staring at me. 

“I know I can never replace Mary, but…” I sighed, “I still want you to be happy. I hate seeing you like this…” 

John reached forward, pulling me against him into a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around him as well, resting my head against his chest. He took a few deep breaths, not moving for quite a while. I stayed quiet, gently rubbing my hand over his back. 

“I don’t want you in those hospitals. I’ve broken that promise twice now. I don’t know if I can go through it again…” 

He slowly loosened his grip, letting his arms fall to my sides as he leaned back to face me. 

“Those were things neither of us could have controlled.” 

“I’m so sorry…” His voice cracked. 

Shifting my arms, I rested my hands on his wrists, rubbing them for a moment. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” I smiled at him, feeling tears running down my cheeks. Sliding my hands up, I gently placed my hands on the sides of his face, my fingers running over his short beard. He raised one of his hands, resting it on top of mine. I leaned in, placing a kiss on his forehead. 

“You’re beautiful…” He got a cheeky grin on his face, despite his tears. 

_ “You always say that.” _ I teased. 

He leaned in, pressing his forehead to mine.  _ “I know.”  _

We both let out a light chuckle before he leaned in, pressing his lips to mine. I closed my eyes, as did he. John raised his hands, cupping my face as he continued. He ran his fingers through my hair, one of his hands straying down to rest on my waist as he pulled me closer to him. Eventually, he pulled me into his lap, keeping his hand on the small of my back to make sure I wasn’t going to slip off of the bed.

He was mindful of my wound as he lifted me, shifting as he laid me down onto the bed. John pressed his knee into the bed, his hand pushing against the pillow to support himself. He turned his head slowly, speaking with a low voice.

“I have something to ask you.”

I took a breath, “What is it?”

He leaned back, looking down at me as he met my eyes.

“Thanksgiving is coming up… And I…” He looked off for a moment, then veering his head back to me. “I’d like you to meet my boys.”

I felt my heart flutter as I tensed.

_ He wants me to meet his family? _

I remained silent, just staring up at him.

“I- Well- I know we haven’t been together all that long, but considering everything we’ve been through…” He shifted, crawling up beside me as he rested on his side. “I want them to meet you, to know you like I do.”

John reached over, caressing my cheek as I turned my head to face him.

“And maybe I could meet your family…? I know I’d probably be a shock to them, being your professor and all, but-”

He silenced as I turned my head away, looking the opposite direction.

“Doll? What’s wrong?” He sat up, looking down at me with a now concerned look over his face.

I didn’t answer, feeling my heart thumping in my chest. 

“Hey-” He leaned in, reaching his hand over to gently turn my head toward him again. “What’s wrong? What happened?” 

“I- Do you remember how I said I changed my name?” 

He nodded, “What about it?” 

“My parents, they uh…” I took a deep breath, pushing myself to sit up and lean back against the headboard. “They died.” 

I could see his heart sink at the words. 

“Sweetheart, I didn’t mean-” 

“No- John. It’s fine…” 

I held my legs to my chest, looking down at the blankets rather than at John. 

“They were killed… Shot to death in their car. Cops never found out who did it.” 

He scooted over beside me, resting his hand over mine on top of my knee, gently rubbing my hand. 

“When Aaron took me, we were arguing and- and he-” I gasped, feeling tears welling up in my eyes again. 

“He said he did it.  _ That they had to go.” _

John slid his arm over my shoulders, pulling me to his side. He leaned down, kissing the top of my head. 

“Sweetheart... I- I’m so sorry” 

He sighed, slightly rocking me side to side as he rested his head on top of mine, keeping his arms tightly around him. I pushed myself not to cry. I hated crying in front of him, so I always pushed myself to wait until he left for work. I knew I’d be able to return to class soon, so I’d have less time to myself. 

“That’s just- that’s when I snapped… They were always telling me to leave him, so when they died…” I gasped, trembling. “I changed my name, moved towns for about three months. Sold the car… Came here and started nursing school.” 

John rubbed my arm, taking a deep breath as he turned his head to kiss my forehead. 

“I won’t let that happen to you again. Ever.” 

I turned, shifting my body to face his. 

“...Thank you, John.” 

He tilted his head, meeting my gaze. 

“No need to thank me. I’d do anything for you in a heartbeat.” 

He smiled. I returned it, placing a kiss on his cheek, the stubble of his salt and pepper beard lightly scratching my skin. He lifted his hand, wiping the tears from my cheek with his thumb. 

“Well… I’d love to meet your family.” I spoke softly. 

John’s smile spread wide as he looked down at me. He cupped my face in his hands once again, his eyes scanning over my face in pure awe. 

“I’m sure they’d love to meet you too.” 

***

The next few days went well. They were tiring, but no incidents had happened. It was a bit difficult to focus due to the medications I was taking, as they made me drowsy, but I was able to get by. 

I couldn’t help but notice Professor Novak eyeing me as if he was trying to put together a puzzle. It made me anxious, but I didn’t say anything to John, I didn’t want to worry him. He was already quite stressed after everything that happened these last two months. 

Wallace let me come back to work, but he made sure I stayed working behind the bar rather than waiting tables. He was always careful not to push me too hard. Charlie was ecstatic to see me back at work, telling me all about her new girlfriend, Kara. After work, Charlie invited me over to her apartment. We watched a few movies, ate some dinner, discussed our classes. By the end of the night, we had drunk ourselves silly, giggling like school girls about almost anything we said. 

“So- So I saw the cutest thing yesterday…” Charlie grinned, “Wallace was on a date with Miss Hanes from your building.” 

_ “What?” _ I leaned in, my eyes wide as a smile spread over my face. 

“You are  _ one hundred percent  _ lying.” 

Charlie shook her head, sipping her drink as she let out a short giggle. 

“I feel so happy for them. Her husband died a long time ago, so it’d be nice to see her have somebody that  _ isn’t  _ a cat.” 

We both let out a cheeky giggle, leaning back on the couch. 

“Maybe that’s why he’s been in such a good mood lately… He let me leave almost an  _ entire hour _ early from work.” 

“Really? He’s usually pretty lenient with the schedules but never that much.” 

Charlie nodded, “I came by your apartment yesterday after work, but you weren’t there... I actually- I uh- I noticed you’ve been looking at your phone a lot lately too.” 

She gave a snarky grin, raising her eyebrows a bit as she set her drink on the coffee table. 

“Are you seeing someone?” Charlie spoke in a little singsong voice. 

My face grew red as I then felt my heart pounding. I knew I needed to play this off. If my relationship with John got out, both of our futures would be in jeopardy. 

“Well- I- I am seeing someone.” 

Charlie’s face lit up like a Christmas tree as she reached over, placing her hand over mine onto my thigh. 

“Oh my goodness! You have to tell me  _ absolutely  _ everything. Who is it? Is he nice to you?” She giggled, lifting my hand as she squeezed it. “Oh- Or is it a  _ she?  _ Maybe a  _ they?”  _

I smiled, lowering my head as I looked down at the ground. I desperately wanted to tell her everything, but I was afraid of what could come from it. 

“Well uh... His name is J.” I did my best to improvise the situation. “He’s tall... Uh... Total gentleman.” 

Charlie scooted over on the couch, taking a seat beside me. 

“Oh- J. Sounds real mysterious. What’s he like?” 

I took a breath, lifting my head to meet Charlie’s eyes for a moment before looking down at the floor once again. 

“You’re so nosy.” I chuckled, as I playfully smacked her shoulder. 

“I guess there’s just- there’s not any other way to put it. He’s- He’s just  _ perfect.”  _

Charlie leaned in, staring at my face, her mouth agape. 

“Wow-  _ Oh my.”  _ She placed her hand on my shoulder. 

“What?” 

“You are  _ not _ just seeing him. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” 

She couldn’t help but follow up her smile with giggles, poking me in my side teasingly. I flinched, leaning over onto the armrest as I let out a laugh followed by a few small shrieks. 

“Charlie! Stop- Stop it!” 

_ “You’re in loooove!” _ Charlie teased. 

“Charlie stop it!” I wriggled, squirming away. 

“Never!” 

Our laughter was interrupted by the ringing of my phone. I felt my heart drop as John’s picture showed up on the screen, his name at the top. Charlie finally stopped poking me as she looked over, not noticing the picture at first as she had only focused on grabbing the phone. 

“Ooh- Is this the mysterious  _ J?”  _ She wiggled her eyebrows, giving me a smirk as she then looked at my screen. 

I saw her smile leave immediately, her eyes going wide as she stared down at the screen. My heart pounded as I waited for her to speak, unable to muster up my own words. The phone just continued to ring until it put him on voicemail. Charlie just stared in pure shock as the screen went black. I sat there, frozen in place. 

“So…” Charlie lifted her head, meeting my eyes. As soon as she looked at me I felt my stomach twist into a knot. 

“J… J is that anatomy professor… John Winchester?” Charlie’s voice was low and quiet, almost squeaky as she was unsure what else to say. 

I took a deep breath, sitting up straight. “Yes. That’s… That’s him.” 

She stayed silent for a moment, slowly handing me my phone. I lifted my somewhat shaking hand, I took my phone, setting it down in my lap.

“You’re seeing your professor… That’s- That’s just insane.” 

“Charlie-” I let out a shaky breath. 

Charlie leaned in, carefully placing her hand over mine. 

“...Are you happy with him?” Her voice was quiet, her tone giving off that she was worried. 

I looked up at her, my hand shaking under hers. 

“I am… I’m really happy with him.” My voice cracked. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. 

Dozens of thoughts and worries filled my mind in an instant, up until Charlie finally broke the agonizing silence, “I won’t tell anyone.” 

I could’ve sworn that my heart had stopped. It took me a few seconds to process what she said. 

“You… You won’t?” 

She nodded, “As long as you’re happy, I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. After everything that you told me about Aaron… I really think you deserve to be happy.”

Charlie squeezed my hand, taking a deep breath. “I don’t want to take any of that from you.” 

I felt a smile spread over my face with every word she said. Charlie reached over, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into a tight hug. I felt a few tears run down my face as I let out an anxious laugh, closing my eyes in relief. The both of us were definitely feeling emotional, both from the alcohol  _ and  _ the situation. 

“Thank you- Thank you so much, Charlie…” I felt my voice crack once again. 

We both sat there for a moment, hugging as we let out quiet laughs that were on the brink of tears. 

The moment was interrupted yet again as my phone began ringing. Charlie let me go, leaning back and folding her hands into her lap. I reached down and pulled my phone up from my lap, checking the screen. It was John, again. I looked up at Charlie, about to ask if she minded, to which she gestured to my phone, nodding. I flashed her a smile for a moment, then swiping to answer the phone, putting it on speaker.

“Hey- Hi, John.” 

“Hey, sweetheart. Called you earlier, went to voicemail. Are you alright?” 

I glanced at Charlie for a moment, “Yeah- I uh- I’m at a friend’s house.” 

“Oh. I was on my way over to your apartment. Do I need to wait until another time?” 

Charlie let out a giggle. She did her best to keep it quiet, not wanting him to hear it. 

“No- You better not make me wait on you.” 

“Heh- I won’t. Wouldn’t want my princess to have to wait.”

Charlie and I both began laughing, leaning our heads back on the couch as she slapped my leg. I could hear John clear his throat, then remembering he didn’t know that Charlie knew, or that he was on speaker. When the two of us had eventually stopped laughing, I answered John. 

“Can you come over here and pick me up?” 

“Alright- I’ll be there in a few. Just text me the address. See you soon, doll.” He let out a short, anxious chuckle before hanging up. 

Charlie and I were silent for a few seconds, staring at each other with red faces. We then broke out laughing, leaning on each other. 

“Did you hear how nervous he was?” Charlie wheezed, slapping my shoulder. 

“Yeah! He heard you laughing and I  _ swear _ he almost pissed himself!” 

I looked back at my phone, sending Charlie’s address to John. We both continued to laugh for a good minute. Charlie helped me gather all of my things, walking me down to the lobby of her building. We could barely make it down the stairs with all of the giggling and wobbling we were doing. She stayed in the lobby with me, waiting for John to come and pick me up. 

***

After a good ten minutes in the lobby of cracking jokes and Charlie asking  _ extremely  _ personal questions about John, he drove up outside, parking beside the sidewalk. Charlie pulled me by my arm, walking me outside to his truck. I could see the look of terror on his face as he saw Charlie at my side. 

I pulled the door open, smiling at him. 

“Hi,  _ Mr.Winchester.”  _ I teased. 

John’s face lost all its color as he stared at me, watching me climb into the truck. Charlie helped me in, since I was practically falling over. As soon as I got into the seat, Charlie leaned in, waving at John. 

_ “Hi, Mr.Winchester.”  _ Charlie repeated what I had said, giggling once again. 

Negan raised his hand a bit, hesitantly waving at her. I laid down in the seat, resting my head onto his thigh. He drew in a sharp breath, slowly lowering his hand to rest it on my shoulder. 

“Goodnight, Charlie.” I called out to her, to which she said the same, closing the door to the truck. 

John watched Charlie until she got back in the building, then glancing down at me for a moment as he drove out of the parking lot. 

“Are you-” He paused for a moment, shifting his gaze between me and the road every now and again. “Are you drunk?” 

_ “Maaaybe.”  _ I let out a short laugh, resting my hands on my stomach, looking up at his face. A slight smile spread over his face as he squeezed my shoulder. 

***

Eventually, we arrived at my apartment. I stayed there for the last two nights, and John had switched out all of my locks, along with some small window alarms. 

After he parked, John shut off the truck. Rather than getting out immediately, he looked down at me. I tilted my head, meeting his eyes. 

“Are we home?” I mumbled. 

John nodded, “Yeah… We’re back at your place, hun.” He brushed my hair out of my face, smiling down at me. After eyeing me for a few seconds, he opened the door, carefully climbing out of the truck. Once he was out, John stood beside the truck, patting my shoulder. 

“Alright- Come on, let’s get you inside.”

I nodded, shuffling around until I started to climb out of the truck. I felt my body tense as I slipped forward, beginning to fall out of the truck, but John was quick to reach his arms underneath mine, catching me. 

“Alright- Alright, watch it.” He took a breath, steadying me against him. “I gotcha.” 

John shut the door, locking it. He turned on his heel, heading into the building, still lugging me along. I wrapped my arms around the backside of his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. He made his way up the stairs, stopping when he got to my door. 

“Keys.” He patted my back, keeping his other hand on my upper thigh to keep me propped up. I slide my hand down, stuffing it into the pocket of my jeans to dig out my keys. Upon getting them out, I lifted my hand, pressing the bundle of keys against his shoulder. He reached up with the hand on my back, taking the keys. 

Before he could put them in the door, we both seemed to hear the door to the stairwell open. John turned his head, and I did as well. Miss Hanes was getting home, and my boss, Wallace, was right behind her. 

She turned her head away from Wallace, spotting the both of us. 

“Oh- Barbara-” I felt my face flush red, embarrassed as she had never seen me drunk before. 

“Hello, dear!” She grinned. Wallace had an awkward grin on my face, as he didn’t know that Miss Hanes was my neighbor, nonetheless that we knew each other. 

“Bishop.” Wallace nodded at me, to which I raised my hand a bit in a small wave. 

“...Winchester?” He looked toward John. John had regained that pale, terrified look he had when he saw Charlie. As soon as I heard Wallace say John’s last name, my heart sank. I had no idea the two knew each other. 

“I- Wallace-” My voice cracked as I stared at Wallace. 

Before I could get another word out, Miss Hanes grabbed Wallace’s hand, walking him toward her apartment. 

“You don’t worry about it dear, I’ll talk a little sense into him.” 

I remembered telling Miss Hanes about John. I knew I could trust her with it since she had absolutely no reason to tell the university. I wasn’t too sure about Wallace. Although, my worries were put down after Miss Hanes dragged him off. After everything she’d done for me, I trusted her with my life. 

“Go have fun, dear.” She smiled at me, giving a small wave to me as she pulled Wallace into her apartment. 

John and I stared at each other for a moment, then letting out a sigh of relief at the same moment. 

“Don’t worry about it.” I leaned in, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck once again, hugging him tightly. “Barbara is going to make sure  _ everything  _ is okay. I trust her.” I spoke in a low voice, almost a whisper. 

“If you trust her, then I do.” He returned the whisper, unlocking the door, still holding me up as he got the door open. John closed and locked the door behind us. After turning on the light, he walked me into my room, laying me down onto my bed. As he pulled away, I reached up, grabbing his wrist. He stopped, looking down at me as he leaned over the bed. 

“John.” I whispered, meeting his eyes, staring at him. 

He slid his wrist from me, “What is it?” He then moved his hand to hold mine. I squeezed his hand, just lying there for a moment, keeping my eyes on him. 

“Stay with me.” 

“I was planning on it.” He muttered, a grin falling over his face. John shifted, sitting at the edge of the bed. He reached up, removing my shoes along with my socks. Afterward, he grabbed at the hem of my jeans, pulling them off. I took a breath, feeling relieved to get the uncomfortable denim off. Casting them aside, he removed his shoes and his jacket, then crawling up onto the bed beside me. 

I grinned, tilting my head to the side, brushing my hand over the side of his face. He placed his hand over mine, returning the smile. I pushed myself up, throwing my leg over him, sitting on his lap. John flinched, not expecting me to get up so quickly. His hands found their way to my hips, keeping me steady. 

“What’s this all about?” He kept that cheeky grin, his hands firmly squeezing my hips, though he was mindful of my injury. 

“Well… It’s been a while.” I slid my hands down his chest, gripping the hem of his shirt. I tugged it up, to which he grabbed it from me, pulling it the rest of the way off and tossing it to the floor. 

“You sure you can do this? You’re not gonna get hurt? Not too drunk?” He did his best to keep that smile up, but it wasn’t enough to mask the worry I heard in his voice. John was always careful about touching me after my surgery, afraid he’d hurt me. 

“I didn’t drink  _ that  _ much. Don’t worry about it.” 

Shifting, I climbed off of his lap, undoing his belt and his jeans, beginning to tug them off. He moved around a bit to help me get his pants off. Once they were off, it was hard  _ not _ to notice the already large bulge in his briefs. I crawled up, sitting in between his legs, palming the fabric. 

John tilted his head back into the pillow, letting out a groan. 

“I uh- You  _ sure _ you’re up for that?” He lifted his head, getting that worried look on his face once again. I had cracked a joke once before about it, and John went on a rant about how he was worried I'd strain myself. 

"I'm sure. You did it the first time… and  _ all of the other times."  _ I met his eyes for a moment, my smile shrinking. I always felt guilty that he did everything for me, and I barely did anything for him. 

John opened his mouth to speak, but I interrupted him by palming his crotch again, inciting him to groan. I moved back a bit, pulling his briefs down off of his legs, tossing them to the side. 

He was taking slow, deep breaths, eyeing me. I slid my hands on his thighs, rubbing them for a moment as I laid on my stomach between his legs. John sat himself up, his hands pushing against the mattress. I reached up, wrapping my hand around his length, gently pumping my hand. He drew in a sharp breath, leaning his head back. I smiled, watching him hold back all of the squirms and noises. Just when he began to calm down, I wrapped my lips around his tip, lowering my head as I took him deeper into my mouth. 

He tensed up, gripping the blankets, letting out another groan. 

"Fuck…" 

John looked down at me, taking a deep breath. Reaching up, he rested his hand on my shoulder. When I pushed further, he squeezed my shoulder, grunting. 

"Son-" He groaned once again, "Son of a bitch-" 

I lowered my head, all the way until he hit the back of my throat. Sliding my hand up, I lightly dug my nails into his thigh, continuing to lift my head up and down. John panted heavily, moving his hand from my shoulder onto the back of my head, lacing his fingers into my hair. I kept at it, gagging myself each time I went down. It was fun to feel him wiggle like a worm. 

A decent bit of time had gone by. My jaw was sore, but I didn't let up. Just as I began thinking about stopping, John gripped my hair, pushing my head all the way down. I flinched, whining as he gagged me. Just as he pushed me all the way down, I felt his body tense up, his length twitching as he unloaded into my throat. He held me down for a couple of seconds before he let go of my hair, grabbing my shoulder to push me back. 

"Sorry- I just- Just got a little caught up." John pushed my hair out of my face, checking me over to make sure I was alright. By now I was panting, my eyes a bit red and irritated. I rubbed his thigh for a moment, tilting my head up to look at him. 

"I'm- I'm fine…" I took a deep breath, giving him an anxious smile. 

He carefully pulled me to sit up, cupping my face, giving me a once-over. I sat up in front of him, just staring right into his eyes. 

"You did well." He grinned. "I'm sorry for underestimating you."

"And I definitely forgot how long you last…" 

We both let out a short laugh. John placed a kiss on my forehead, then climbing off of the bed. I turned my head, confused as to why he was getting up. 

"What-" 

"Your turn." 

"My turn? What are you-"

"Take your damn clothes off." I flinched as he barked the order. I crawled over to the edge of the bed, reaching my hands down, then gripping the hem of my shirt. John took a step forward, and his hands followed mine, lifting my shirt off of me. As soon as it was off, he slipped his hands around my back, undoing my bra. I looked up, meeting his eyes. Neither of us dared to look away. He pulled my bra the rest of the way off, dropping it down onto the floor. He paused for a moment, resting his hands on my hips. 

John leaned in, kissing me for a short moment, before he moved on to my jaw, then down to my neck. He avoided kissing me since he knew how sore my jaw was. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as he slid his hands down, grabbing the hem of my panties. John tugged at them, sliding them down my legs, leaving them on the floor. He trailed kisses down my neck, lining my collarbone, then down to my chest. Pressing his hand to my shoulder, he gently pushed me down onto my back, leaning over me. John pushed one of his hands into the bed to support himself, the other cupping my breast. 

He looked up at me for a moment, giving me a wolfish smile as he placed his mouth over my nipple, lapping his tongue over the sensitive bud. 

I let out a gasp, flinching as he went on. John sucked on the sensitive area, his hand massaging the other, pressing his thumb against my nipple as he toyed with it. I rested my arms beside my head, letting him do as he pleased. He then grazed his teeth over my skin, biting the little nub for a moment, resulting in me yelping. 

John pulled back, smiling at me. 

"Look at you… barely got started and you're already shaking in your boots." 

He chuckled, leaning forward as he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me for a moment. John pulled back once again, standing up straight. I just laid there, staring up at him, waiting for his next move with an awkward smile plastered over my face. 

"Think we're gonna try something new." 

He set his hands on my thighs, rubbing them over my skin, being gentle and careful. 

"What is it?" 

"You'll see. If you don't want to, just say the word." John spoke softly, the wolfish grin dying down to a loving smile. 

"I will…" 

He slid his hand beneath my thigh, just behind my knee. His other hand reached to the same side on my hip, rolling me over onto my stomach. My legs were still hanging off the bed, as he had me bent over onto the mattress. 

I felt John's rough hand slide up my back, two of his fingers trailing down my spine. He stepped away for a moment, and I could hear a metal clink. I was about to look behind me when I felt him reach and grab my wrist. He slowly pulled it back, doing the same with the other. 

John wrapped his belt around my wrists, binding them. I could feel how hesitant he was. John looked over at me, pausing for a moment as if waiting for my approval. 

"It's okay." I smiled, glancing back at him. 

He steadily placed his hand on the back of my neck, pressing my head against the blankets. John drew his hand back, resting both of them on my hips, rubbing them over my skin for a moment. 

I felt him line himself up, before pushing himself into me. 

"Fuck… It's like you get better every time." 

He let out a short chuckle. I anxiously laughed, balling my hands into small fists. John took a deep breath as he slowly bottomed out, sliding one of his hands to my ass, gripping the plush skin in his large hand. John wasted no time as he started thrusting into me, gripping my hip tightly. 

The silence in the room was filled with the sound of skin smacking together, followed by my heavy breathing and moans. 

"John- Oh- Holy shit…" 

I groaned, closing my eyes as I felt my legs beginning to tremble. John lightly dug his nails into my hip, drawing his other hand back only to bring it back down and slap against my ass. I yelped, flinching as he began to speed up. 

John tilted his head back, letting out groans and taking deep breaths. Every couple of seconds he'd spank me again. He slid his hand from my hip, grabbing onto my shoulder from behind. Each time he slammed into me, he grazed over my g-spot, causing my legs to shake, and my vision to blur every now and again. I couldn't help but feel that familiar heat building between my thighs. It wasn't much long after that I let out a loud, drawn-out moan, my walls clenching around him as my body tensed up. 

"Fuck! John!" 

I squealed, but he didn't stop. This only made him get rougher, more animalistic. John only kept thrusting into me, riding out my orgasm as long as he could. He undid the belt, tossing it onto the floor. 

John suddenly pulled out of me. Before I could do anything, he lifted me up, quickly but carefully laying me on my side. During these few seconds, he made sure I wasn't hurt, and he didn't disrupt my injury. Once he was sure, John got down behind me, my back against his chest. He slid back into me from behind, one of his hands gripping my thigh, lifting my leg up. I let out another moan as he had suddenly stretched me out again. His other hand slid beneath me, reaching around to my core. He pressed his fingers against my clit, relentlessly toying with it. This resulted in an abundance of moans and whines from me, every inch of my body feeling hot and bothered. John leaned in, kissing at my neck and shoulder from behind me. I could feel him leaving plenty of marks on my skin in between the kisses. I had reached behind myself, gripping his arm that was holding my leg, my other hand placed over the one going after my core. 

John was beginning to buck his hips between thrusts, his breathing erratic as he went on. I felt that heat rising within me again, my vision getting blurry. 

"John- John!" I gasped, "Fucking- Ah!" 

"Come on-" He grunted, "I know you have another one in you." John grinned. 

I arched my back, my climax washing over me as I tensed up. John did the same, his hand squeezing my thigh as he dug his fingers into my skin. His breath was hot against my neck as he groaned, emptying himself deep inside of me. 

We were lying there for at least five minutes, both panting and desperately trying to catch our breaths. John was the first to move, slowly pulling himself out of me, rubbing my hip for a moment. 

John sat up behind me, leaning over, examining me. 

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" 

I turned my head, my eyes half-closed. "Yeah… Yeah, I'm fine." I nodded to him. 

He gave me a small smile, a caring one. Despite the smile, I could see all of the lust drained out of him, now exchanged for worry. John pulley my hip, rolling me onto my back. He reached over, reluctantly grazing his hand over my newly healed surgery scar, guilt falling over his face as he stared at it. I placed my hand over his, getting him to look me in the eye. 

"I'm fine. I promise." 

John smiled at me once again. 

"I'll go run you a bath, then we can get cleaned up. You just wait here." 

John leaned in, kissing my forehead as he brushed my hair from my face. He then climbed out of bed, disappearing into the bathroom.

“You know- Wallace and Barb probably heard every bit of that.” I called out to him, snickering. 

“Good. All the more reason for him to keep his mouth shut.” 

I could hear him laughing in the bathroom, mumbling to himself for a moment, followed up by the sound of the bath faucet turning on. 


	7. It's Not Nothing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: John Winchester x Fem!Reader “Bishop”
> 
> Summary: Bishop is struggling to sleep once again, having horrible memories and nightmares of what happened. John notices she’s sick, and brings her home in efforts to help her feel better. 
> 
> Word Count: 4657
> 
> Warnings/Tags: Fluff - Angst - Language - Infatuation - Older Man/Younger Woman - Inappropriate Teacher/Student Relationship - Mentions/Nightmares/Thoughts of Trauma/Abuse/Death/Violence - Kissing - Implied Smut/ATTHS 
> 
> Author’s Note: Sorry for taking so long to update She’ll Be Fine! I started working on that Hotch x Reader story, and these last few weeks haven’t been too good. Hope you guys like this chapter!

The next couple of days went horribly. 

I was suffering at this point. I had some kind of cold, and a horrendous lack of sleep. I did everything I could think of to push away the memories and nightmares, but I couldn't keep up that wall anymore. I was thankful that John had finally let me stay at my apartment alone, rather than staying there with me, or having me stay at his home. 

Going to class was miserable, as Lucas's suspension was over. I was just thankful that President Shurley had made sure to have one of the campus security officers present at all times. 

I could barely keep my head up, once again having bags beneath my eyes. Every part of me ached, wanting to just collapse on the floor and go to sleep. However, I knew if I did, I'd only just wake up again, screaming, crying, sweating, whatever came up. I couldn't even nap on my desk without seeing *him* again. Everything was going so well again, I couldn't put any more stress on John. He'd been through enough, I couldn't just throw even more against him. 

I had already considered going to see a therapist, but I was afraid of what they would say, what they would think. I couldn't afford one either, and there was no way in *hell* that I was going to ask John to help me out with one. If he knew I needed to see a therapist, he'd lose it. 

I found myself spacing out for what I could only assume was the hundredth time today. Professor Novak was talking his mouth off, as usual, his back toward the class as he endlessly wrote things on the whiteboard. As always, his handwriting was damn near perfect, almost like it was being printed. Novak never got very hands-on with his students, just saying what needed to be said, asking if we had any questions, then moving on. He wasn't one for presentations either. You just hand in your work and listen. I liked the way he taught. Speaking in front of everyone often made me anxious. 

The only reason John did presentations was to make sure people were listening. He was well aware of how many girls in the class had their attention on him rather than the lesson. Although, after the first time he had come over to my apartment, he started making the presentation optional. He didn't tell me directly, but I knew that it was because of me. 

When the class had finally ended, I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't think I could handle another minute of desperately trying to listen to lectures on top of trying to keep myself awake. 

On my way down the hall, I passed by John's classroom. Peeking in the door, I saw that no one was in the classroom. I was about to go back out the door until I had noticed a light coming from beneath the door to his office. I turned my head, making sure no one had seen me go into the classroom. Once I was sure it was clear, I headed into the class and over to the door. Raising my hand, I quietly knocked on the door. 

"Mr. Winchester?" 

I made sure not to refer to him by his first name even if no one was here, since I didn't know if anyone was in the office with him. When I got no response, I shifted and began to walk away. Although, I felt a hand wrap around my upper arm, pulling me back into the office. I yelped, almost tripping over my feet as the door closed. Before I could get a word out, I found my back being pressed against the door, ruffling the blinds. Like always, John had his hands cupping my face, deeply kissing me. 

I returned them for a few short seconds, before eventually pressing my hand to his chest to push him back.

"John-" I whispered between kisses, but John didn't let up, "John- Hold on-" 

We hadn't seen each other for three days other than phone calls or texting, so he hadn't seen how bad I truly looked. Even if we were in class, my seat was too far from his desk for him to really notice. I lifted my other hand, pressing both against him. John immediately stopped, leaning back from me. Before he said a word, I saw the smile on his face melt away in an instant. It was replaced by a look of worry, his brow furrowing. 

"Doll-" He kept his hands on my face, one of them brushing the hair out of my face, "Are you sick again?" 

His eyes scanned over my face, desperately trying to figure out what was wrong with me. 

"No-" I coughed,  _ fuck,  _ "I'm fine… just tired." 

"Hun, this isn't 'just' tired. You're as pale as a ghost, your eyes are dark. What's up with you?" 

I drew in a sharp breath, closing my eyes for a moment. Shifting my hands off of his chest, I let them fall down to my sides. Everything felt so heavy. It had been so long since he'd touched me whatsoever, I could almost melt in his arms and sleep for days. I always slept better with him, but I didn't want to worry him. 

"Fine… it's just a cold. I'll be okay-" 

John pressed the backside of his hand against my forehead, his other on my shoulder. 

"You're burning up…" 

He sighed, reaching his arms around me and pulling me into a tight embrace. I swore I could feel myself drifting to sleep against him, my legs weak. John then shifted backward, looking down to meet my eyes. 

"I want you back to my house tonight. We're going to get you to bed, and I'm gonna make you a big dinner." 

I smiled, "I just don't want to stress you out anymore…" 

"Doll, you don't stress me out. If anything I stress  _ you _ out," He chuckled, "Now, as much as I hate sending you out into the cold, I need you to ride the bus one stop down. I'll meet you there." 

John had come up with a way for him to pick me up after classes without drawing attention to himself. It worked pretty well. Other options were to go around to the back of the building, walk to the end of the block, or just take the bus home where he would pick me up. I could tell that John couldn't bear to come anywhere near my apartment building, especially after what had happened. Despite Aaron being dead, he still had anxiety when he was in, or even near my apartment. I couldn't blame him, as I was barely able to stand being in the apartment either. It only brought back the memories, rushing me with all of the times I ever found something out of place, a door unlocked, a window opened. It was mortifying. 

“I still need to go to work.” I gave an awkward grin. 

John sighed, “Really? Damn… I don’t like seeing you like this, nonetheless seeing you  _ working  _ like this. I’ll come by and keep you company.” 

“I- No, you can’t come in there. Someone is going to notice.” 

“It’ll be fine. Your little friend Charlie already knows, it’ll just seem like I’m talking with a bartender.”

I sighed, knowing he was too stubborn to talk down. 

“Fine. Just  _ please  _ be careful of what you say.” 

“I will. You just get done with your shift, and I’ll pick you up around back.” John leaned in, pressing a kiss to my forehead. He ran his hands through my hair for a moment, giving me a tight, comforting hug. 

“I still think you should call in sick.” 

“I can’t. I’ve already missed enough work, I’m lucky that Wallace is really flexible with the work schedules.” 

John huffed, “Alright… Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop asking anytime soon.” He chuckled, peeking out the door to his office to make sure no one was around. When he didn’t see anyone, he held the door open for me, gesturing for me to leave. 

“I’ll be over there later. Need to look over some of these papers first.” 

I smiled at him, heading to the door. On my way out, I stood on my tiptoes, pressing a kiss against his cheek. 

“I’ll see you tonight.” I patted his shoulder, heading out of the classroom. 

***

After I had gotten to work, my shift was going well. There weren’t any incidents, Charlie was in a great mood, Wallace was working with us as well. It was always fun to have Wallace on a shift with us, he’d tell jokes, chat up customers, tell funny stories. 

When I was on my way to bring a drink to a customer, Charlie stopped me, taking the drink from me. I paused, glancing at her. 

“Charlie-” 

She interrupted me, “You’ve got a customer,” She giggled, pointing toward the end of the bar.” 

I tilted my head to the side, glancing toward the other end of the bar. Scanning the people in the seats, I spotted John in one of the bar stools, leaning forward against the countertop. With a subtle smile on my face, I paced over, leaning over the bar. 

“Fancy seeing you here.” I teased, inciting a smirk from him, “What can I get you?” 

“I’ll just take a water. I got somebody I need to get home to, can’t be out there driving drunk.” 

He formed a smirk, letting out a slight chuckle as he watched my face flush red. 

“John-” I grinned, turning to the side as I made him a glass of ice water, “-you better watch it.” 

Setting the glass in front of him, I began to tend to the other customers sitting near him, refilling drinks, taking orders, and so on. John kept up some casual conversation, but nothing that would take too long as to avoid arousing suspicion from anyone in the bar. Everything seemed to be going just fine, up until Professor Novak made his way over to John, taking a seat on the barstool right beside him. 

I had just half an hour left on my shift, but I couldn’t stop my anxiety from rising now that Novak was there. I could see it on John’s face as well, the worry building within the both of us. He’d made a comment to me before about Jimmy being a bit suspicious as to how concerned John was about me. They began talking, but I couldn’t quite make out the words. Charlie being the usual god-send she always was, made her way past me to take over that side of the bar, letting me take the side she was on. 

For the next half hour, I couldn’t help but eye John from the other side of the bar, watching as he had a thorough conversation with his colleague. When eight o’clock had finally arrived, I let out a heavy sigh of relief, clocking out. Just as I made my way through the door in the back, I could see John getting out of his seat from the corner of my eye. Charlie gave me a small wave as she watched me leave, winking at me. She always had a longer shift than me since she had much more time on her hands, but not much to do with it. 

Heading out the back door, I was greeted with a cold breeze, followed up with a bit of snow. Despite it only being late November, winter was coming in a bit early. I wasn’t complaining. I didn’t have very much snow where I grew up, so it was a nice change to have a white Christmas, even if I spent it alone. Pulling my jacket up over my shoulders, I huddled myself into it, beginning to shiver. I made the  _ wrong  _ choice of wearing leggings and a t-shirt. 

To my rescue, as usual, I spotted John’s truck pulling up behind the bar. As he parked just at the edge of the sidewalk, I made my way over, pulling the passenger door open. He flashed me a smile as I sat down and closed the door, pulling on my seatbelt. 

“Didn’t expect Professor Novak to show up,” I let out an anxious laugh. 

“I didn’t either… He’s usually really quiet, but uh…” He trailed off, beginning to drive down the street until he made it to the road. 

“But?” I questioned, tilting my head to scan over his face, “But what?” 

“Nothin’, don’t worry about it,” He reached over, turning the radio on. It was switched to an old rock station, not something I listened to very often, but it was still good music. I figured John didn’t feel like talking about whatever had happened in the bar, so I let it go. I leaned back in the seat, silently listening to the music. It wasn’t too long before I fell asleep, feeling as my eyes slowly fell shut, my body relaxing. 

***

My eyes fluttered open, seeing an unfamiliar place. It was a bit dark, but I ignored the lack of light when I felt someone’s arms sliding underneath me. When I jerked away, raising my arms, I heard John’s voice. 

“Hey-” John gripped me tightly, “-It’s just me. Didn’t mean to wake you.” 

I calmed down as I heard him speak, “Oh- Since when do you go in the garage?” 

“It’s cold out. I was just going to take you to bed, let you sleep.” John sighed, lifting me out of the seat and holding me in his arms bridal style. I wrapped my arm over his shoulder, knowing he wouldn’t let me walk, always insisting on carrying me everywhere. He pressed his back to the door of the truck, closing it. Making his into the house, he didn’t bother turning on many lights, trying his best to keep it dark to avoid irritating my eyes. Once we got to the living room, he sat me down on the couch. 

“You just wait here. I’ll run you a bath.” 

I nodded, watching as he walked off into the hallway. Reaching down, I pulled off my shoes, setting them off to the side. When I began to remove my jacket, John entered the living room. 

“You feelin’ okay?” 

I tilted my head back, meeting his eyes, “Yeah, why?” 

“You’re red,” He leaned down, pressing the backside of his hand to my forehead once again. I flinched, dropping my jacket onto the couch beside me. 

“John, you already-” 

He interrupted, “Warmer than earlier.” 

John sighed, once again snatching me up, carrying me up the stairs. I yelped, not expecting him to pick me up so quickly. Once we go to the bathroom, he sat me on the countertop, kicking the door shut. 

“Come on,” He slid his fingers beneath the hem of my t-shirt, starting to pull it off. I was reluctant to strip in front of him. Despite us having slept together multiple times, I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious, even more now with the scar on my side. John didn’t say a word, just pulling my shirt over my head. He tossed my shirt down onto the floor, carefully helping me off of the counter. Once I was standing, he grabbed at the waistband of my leggings and panties, lowering them. I stepped out of them, taking a step back as I stared at him, anxiety building within me. 

John paused, eyeing me for a moment, “What’s wrong?” 

“Well-” I lowered my head, “I- I just-” 

He shushed me, stepping close to me as he rested his hands on my shoulders. “You’re beautiful. Now, stop making me  _ have  _ to say it if you’re going to complain about it.” 

My lips curled into a smile, craning my neck to look up at him. He then reached around my back, undoing my bra. I pulled it the rest of the way off. As soon as it hit the floor, John reached forward, snatching me up off of the ground once again. He let me stand in the tub, waiting for me to sit. Sinking myself into the water, I felt my entire body relax, succumbing to the warmth of the water. Leaning my head back against the edge of the tub, I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I could hear John moving around for a moment, but it was interrupted by the water somewhat splashing around. 

Lifting my head, I opened my eyes only to see John had stripped, and he was climbing into the tub at the other end. 

“John, what are you-” 

“Hush. You just relax.” He grinned, sinking down into the water, resting my legs on top of his. I obeyed, leaning my head back against the edge of the bathtub, taking another deep breath. John dipped a washcloth beneath the water, running it over my legs and ankles, carefully cleaning every bit of me while also being careful as to not disturb me too much. 

John was thorough, even throwing in a small massage in some areas, making sure I was completely comfortable. Eventually, he climbed out of the bath, wrapping a towel around his waist. He grabbed another towel, standing beside the tub. 

“Alright, come on sweetheart.” 

I perked my head up, slowly climbing out of the bath, being careful not to slip. John held my shoulders, making sure I wouldn't fall. Once I was on my feet John made quick work of drying me off; grabbing my hand, he guided me into his bedroom to his closet. He grabbed a hoodie from his closet, gesturing for me to lift my arms so he could put it on me. 

"You have some clothes in your drawer." He slid the hoodie over my head, pulling it the rest of the way down. 

It made my heart flutter to hear him call it  _ my _ drawer. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't pictured a future with him, living together, having a nice home, a life together. John immediately noticed the grin plastered across my face as I nodded, making my way over to the dresser. Pulling open the drawer, I found the clothes I had brought over a few weeks ago. I grabbed a pair of underwear and some sweatpants, pulling them on. 

Before I knew it, John snatched me up off of my feet once again. He had pulled on some sweatpants as well, his hair still damp from the bath. John carried my back down the stairs, being careful not to bump my head on the doors or the railing to the stairs. Once we got downstairs, he sat me back on the couch; turning to the side, he grabbed a remote and started up the gas fireplace. 

"Oh- is that gas?" I glanced at the fireplace, watching as it lit up. 

"Yeah-" He set the remote back down, "-Jimmy recommended it. Said it saves the trouble of going out and getting actual firewood. You already know I'm a bit- well-  _ traditional _ ." 

John grinned, grabbing a blanket from a chair beside the couch. He sat beside me and pulled me halfway into his lap, letting me lay across him while he slowly leaned himself back. Pulling the blanket over the both of us, he hugged me tightly to him, smiling. 

"I like it- because it means I can spend  _ less  _ time starting a fire," He kissed the top of my head, "and  _ more  _ time with your fine ass." 

I let out a short giggle, "I appreciate you going against your  _ traditional _ ways just to make me happy,  _ Gramps _ ." I teased. 

"You did  _ not  _ just call me  _ Gramps."  _ He scoffed, getting a grin on his face. John slipped his hands beneath the hoodie, dragging his fingers over the skin of my sides as he began tickling me. I yelped, beginning to squirm. He chuckled, rolling me onto my back so I couldn't get away. 

"John! John-" I snorted, bursting into laughter, "-Stop it! John!" 

"Make me, little piggy." He chuckled, referencing to me snorting. 

John kept it up, watching as I wriggled and squirmed beneath him. I smacked his arms and shoulders, thrashing around. John then leaned down, pressing small, playful kisses over my face and neck. The further he kissed me, the lighter his tickling got. Eventually, he stopped, sliding his hands down to my hips as he gripped the waistline of my sweatpants. I rested my hands on his back, lightly scratching it as he lifted his head to place more kisses on my jaw and the side of my face. The scruff of his beard scathed against my cheek as he then shifted to press his lips to mine. I closed my eyes, sliding my hands from his back to run my fingers into his hair. John began to tug at the waistband, pausing for a moment as he pulled back and met my eyes. 

"I know it's  _ definitely  _ a bit late to ask," He eased his grip on the waistband, "Are you on the pill?" 

I nodded, "Yeah… The doctor put me on it to regulate, always had issues…" I felt anxious to bring it up. We'd already slept together a few times, but I couldn't help the embarrassment building in me. 

"What's wrong?" He tilted his head, the worry in his eyes was evident. 

"Nothing, I just-" 

"It's not  _ nothing _ . You don't get all quiet on me for  _ nothing _ ." He carefully brushed my hair from my face. 

"I-" My breath hitched, "-Aaron, he just- he would always say things about it, how hearing about it was disgusting." 

John took a breath, leaning down and kissing my forehead, "Doll, I'm an  _ anatomy _ professor. You should know that I,  _ of all people _ , wouldn't treat you like that. I hope you know that. Everything about you is  _ absolutely  _ perfect _. _ " 

I didn't respond, just looking up at him with a small smile. 

"Do you want to do this? Or would you like to just go to bed?" He whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. 

"We can do this. Just try not to get sick." I let out a short laugh, to which he let one out as well. 

***

By the next morning, I still hadn't slept. I did my best to fake it until John was asleep, just spending the next couple of hours on my phone. John had brought me up to the bedroom, knowing it’d be uncomfortable to sleep on the couch. Even with John taking care of me, I still couldn't get any sleep. My body ached, my head pounding, dark circles around my eyes. I certainly looked worse than yesterday. 

Eventually, I made my way downstairs, sitting on the couch while I continued looking through my phone. It wasn’t long after I had gone downstairs that John followed along. He quickly noticed my sickly complexion, pacing over and taking a seat beside me. 

"Did you sleep at all?" His voice was groggy and deep, as he had just woken up. 

"No. I- I didn’t sleep…" I let out a heavy sigh, resting my hand over my eyes. 

He huffed, rubbing his face for a moment in an effort to wake himself up. "Why not? What's wrong? Was it last night?" The guilt and worry were clearly washing over him as he mentioned last night. "I didn't mean to pressure you into anything if that's-" 

"No-" I quickly sat up, grabbing one of his hands, "-that's not it. Not at all. You didn't pressure me into anything." I gave him my best smile, resting my head on his shoulder. 

John calmed himself, shifting his hand over to squeeze mine. He raised his other hand, placing it on my shoulder to pull me closer to him. 

"Is it about Aaron? What you said last night?" 

I nodded slowly, "I- Yeah… him."

"Aren't you seeing that therapist? The doctor said-" 

"I'd rather not." I interrupted. 

"Maybe you should. Even if it's not a therapist, maybe you should just-" He paused, taking a breath, "-just talk about it. That girl, Charlie. Maybe even me. I don't like seeing you like this." 

“I’ll… I’ll think about it.” I huffed, closing my eyes as I pressed my face to his neck. 

“Alright…” He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me into a tight hug, “One condition. I want you to stay here with me so I can make sure you’re getting some sleep. Even if it’s only a little, it’s better than none.” John kissed the top of my head, rubbing my back gently. 

“I’ll try,” I grinned, tilting my head back to place a small kiss on his cheek. “But no promises.” 

John grinned, “I’ll go get you something to eat, got a big day today.” 

It took me a moment to realize what he meant. 

_ Shit- we’re supposed to fly out to Kansas today.  _

I’d completely forgotten that John and I were flying out to Kansas to spend Thanksgiving with his family. I didn’t say a word, Just leaning back against the couch, folding my hands in my lap. The thought of it immediately sent feelings of anxiety and self-consciousness throughout my body, goosebumps covering my skin. 

John made his way into the kitchen, making some eggs and toast. The entire time he was in there, I just sat there, frozen in my seat. When he finally came out of the kitchen carting two plates with him, he was quick to notice the look on my face. 

“Hey-” He called my name a few times, realizing I wasn’t listening, “-Sweetheart.” 

John set the plates on the coffee table, sitting beside me on the couch. He set his hand on my shoulder, his other hand reaching around my head to make me face him. I flinched, my eyes going wide as I met his. Cupping my face in his hands, he looked me over. 

“What’s wrong?” He whispered. 

“I forgot.” My voice cracked, tears welling up in my eyes. 

John looked me over once again, pushing my hair out of my face as he kissed my forehead. 

“Oh- Doll…” He hugged me to his chest, his large hand palming the back of my head, “That’s alright. It’s okay. You haven’t been sleeping all too well, I wouldn’t expect you to remember.” John took a deep breath, squeezing me tightly in his arms. 

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. 

“It’s alright. Do you still want to go?” 

I nodded, “I- Yes! Yeah- Of course I want to go. I just-” 

“It’s okay,” He shushed me, rocking me for a moment, “I’ll make sure you’re comfy on the plane, make sure to tell my boys to watch it. I just- I know they’re going to take some time to adjust.” 

“I didn’t even think about that…” I felt a lump in my throat, realizing I was about the same age as his sons, “Do you think-” 

“They’ll love you.” He kissed my head another time, leaning back to meet my eyes, “They’re just going to have to get used to old dad having a girlfriend.” John grinned. 

_ Girlfriend?  _

I smiled from ear to ear,  _ “Girlfriend?”  _

“Yup.  _ Girlfriend.” _ He cupped my face for a moment, just looking into my eyes in the silence. 

“I hope so…” I leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He leaned into it, returning the kiss. 

“I already let their Uncle Bobby know. If they start giving you any shit, he’ll straighten em’ out. Now, let’s get some food in you. Can’t imagine how sick you’d be feeling on a plane with an empty stomach.” John reached over, picking up both of our plates. He handed me mine, leaning back against the couch as he waited for me to eat. 

“Let’s just hope I can sleep on the plane.” I gave an awkward grin, leaning back as well. 


End file.
